Every time I break up with a woman, I have this tradition of not dating for at least the next three months. And those are the best moments in my life. No pressure. No worry. And as we say in Kenya, no ulcers.
I take the time to reconnect with boys, drink, party and merry without the bothersome calls from home. I live so free-spiritedly, it is flattering. I have the house to myself, I can walk around naked, eat when I want (mostly the bachelor staple diet of rice and eggs) and utensils can stay in the sink until mushrooms grow out of them. It is fun like you cannot believe.
It is the best medicine. Especially, if you have come out of one of those toxic relationships that drain all the white blood cells out of you. You know them? Ever dated a drama queen? A woman who literally chokes and suffocates you? And how come, nagging women are often the clingiest? I can assure, nothing like those periods of blissful single-hood to charge you and set you right for the next relationship. Here are my five reasons why everyone needs to be single from time to time as an adult.
For starters, it is for the peace and calm. You get to enjoy your space, manage your schedule, without thinking about anyone. Relationships can eat into your soul. When the going gets tough in a relationship, you easily get piqued even by the toilet habits of your partner. As a single person, you can flirt and flatter your way around without looking over your shoulder or being offered the cold treatment.
Secondly, I take that time to explore my other interests that I cannot pursue when in a relationship. There are certain aspects of our lives we shelve or compromise when in a relationship. Personally, I like to travel...like being away for more than three months. When in a relationship, you cannot just wake up and decide on a road trip to Botswana. That is lunacy. Besides, you will constantly be worried what your partner is up to.
Thirdly, I take the time to explore the many options of women available. And there is no better response to the question, 'Are you single?' from a prospective partner than, "YES!" You cannot say yes when in a relationship, without hesitating or feeling guilty. As a single person, you do everything you wish without remorse or guilt. Also, you can flirt all you want on social media without your significant other inboxing you to ask, 'Why did you like Sue's photo?'
Fourth, is about those annoying relationship phone calls . As men, we rarely like those long nightly calls. Our calls by nature are very brief. I loathe when I have to call at 10.17pm and speak for 27 minutes in a conversation that should take five minutes.
Fifth and finally, being single is cheap. You save so much. No loading airtime. No expensive dinners. No buying gifts for her birthday. No spoiling her at your expense. Life cannot get better than that.
Sadly, you have to interrupt this bliss and get back to a relationship, because it is man's nature to demand companionship. And being in a good relationship is much better than being single. What is worse is being in a bad relationship, where you are essentially single. There is modern cliché that says, if you cannot be successfully single, then you cannot be successful in your relationships.
@nyanchwani snyanchwani@standardmedia.co.ke