Hi Chris,
Most of my friends are nice, though occasionally annoying. But some are simply dreadful. When I’m with them, I constantly feel manipulated. Am I being manipulated? And how should I deal with them?
Sincerely,
Manipulated
Chris says,
Hi, Manipulated!
Keep Reading
- How to handle parenting in a changing world
- Parenting tips as a single father
- Dangers of having a favourite child
- Don't let confusing parenting advice scare you
We all manipulate a little, but for some, it’s a way of life, causing endless distress to those around them.
Some have personality disorders, like narcissists, who can initially seem very attractive. Eventually, they become dominating and cold. One minute you’re their world, the next, you’re nothing.
People with antisocial personality disorder are also often charming at first but are ultimately unscrupulous and feel no guilt or remorse.
Manipulators can be very subtle, making you constantly question if you’re “overreacting” or “too sensitive.” But it’s not you; it’s them.
They’re often upset, with long sighs and grumpy looks. When you ask what’s wrong, they say, “Nothing!” You’re constantly trying to please them.
They lie and twist things, making you believe you’re wrong. They trash-talk, backstab, and criticise. They’re confrontational, provoking arguments that make you feel terrible. Somehow, everything always seems to be about what you’ve said or done to them, never the other way around.
Many are intelligent and enjoy manipulating others. Some are unaware of their behaviour and act without restraint. Some are so skilled that it’s hard to recognise what’s happening. But they all aim to get their way at your expense.
So, what can you do?
Don’t waste time reasoning with them. They won’t change. They’ll lie, distort your words and play dumb, making them difficult to pin down.
Trust your intuition when something feels wrong. Be clear about your boundaries and practice saying no.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Always watch for signs of manipulation and never give them a chance to exploit you.
All the best,
Chris
