Confessions: I love my man but the relationship is getting boring, what do I do?

Hi Chris,

A few weeks ago I met an intriguing man. Our first few dates were wonderful. Somehow, however, everything has changed.

I do not want to give up on him, but things are definitely not working out well. And you know the most difficult thing? I cannot even decide if it is his fault or mine!

Please help me decide what to do.

Is it him or me?

Chris says,

Hi is it him or me?

It is your fault if you never put your phone down, obsessively check your social media and tweet throughout every date. Or if he asks you lots of nice questions, but you give endless one-worded answers.

Having weird eating habits will also make him wonder whether you are odd about other things, like sex. Having to be carried home, or crying at the dinner table won’t go down too well either.

Or revealing too much. Or asking far too many questions about his income and exes. Or stalking him on all his social media and liking every single one of his posts right after your first date. Or sending him hugely gushy texts!

But what if you are doing everything right, and his behaviour is still off? It is possible that he is just not that into you. Most likely, he is a flake.

He is flaky if you know nothing about his friends and family. Or if he is totally off the grid whenever you are apart. And he disappeared for days after you slept together for the first time.

He won’t answer your phone calls, or forever promises he will call you back and does not. Your messages and texts never get a reply in under 12 hours. And he is forever letting you down without any explanation.

Flaky guys basically want everything you have got and give nothing in return. Chances are he is always ‘forgetting’ his wallet, even when the date was his idea. You keep hearing, “You got this, OK?” He is a flake.

He looks at his phone more than you, blatantly checks out other women and talks about how hot they are. He flirts with your friends, says he needs more time before you become exclusive, and only meets up with you at the last minute.

His teasing is hurtful, he is critical and cannot handle your successes. And he is thoroughly selfish in bed. Not caring about you, making a fuss about condoms, leaving as soon as the deed is done, and pushing you to do things you are not comfortable with.

Naturally, he also denies sleeping with other women, yet somehow you get an STD. He is a flake. You deserve better. Find someone who truly appreciates you.

All the best,

Chris