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Hi Chris,
I'm trying hard to meet the love of my life. I'm leveraging all my work connections, and my interests. But it's just not happening. Clearly I'm missing something! But what is it?
Still Alone
Hi Still Alone!
Your approach is spot on, except you're not leveraging your friends! They're a rich source of introductions to guys you'll like.
But with a busy life you probably have too few. Aim for between 12 and 20, of which five or six are really close. Because where dating's concerned, the more you have the better.
Get closer to the friends you know least, because your closest friends have probably already introduced you to everyone they know. And work on widening your circle of acquaintances.
Especially focus on male friends, partly because one of their mates might become your mate, but mostly because learning how to be friends with men means you'll have better relationships.
And have you noticed how some men always seem to become intimate with their female friends? Avoid guys like that, because they don't know how to be just friends with a woman. Their relationships rarely last, and they're also often unfaithful.
Your friends won't only introduce you to new dates. Just knowing that other people like you will boost your self confidence, and being a good friend builds your relationship skills. For example, people enjoy your company more if you make them feel good, so you learn how to give genuine support, rather than just being drinking buddies.
Friends learn to disclose their feelings, vital in a developing relationship, and lose their self-consciousness. They learn not to betray confidences, understand where social chat ends and gossip begins, and stick up for each other in public.
Good friends also become inter-dependent, and are comfortable offering and asking for help.
Being comfortable with dependence is very important in marriage, which is why independent people tend to break-up more often than most. So cultivate your friends. They'll teach you lots about relationships. And one of them might introduce you to the love of your life!
All the best,
Chris
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