I just dressed up and went to wait for him in his car... Men with misplaced priorities

As I sat on his bed in his one-roomed house, I could not help but notice the unique painting on his wall. It was dangerously slanting on one side, almost giving in to the force of gravity. My eyes gradually roamed from the painting to his door, it was missing a plank of wood from the bottom thus allowing the cold wind to blow in. No wonder I was freezing yet I was in the house!

I was interrupted by some beeping as I gazed at the space below the door in shock, I looked up and tried following the beeping sound only to be met by the Kenya Power gadget on the wall reading 0.19! Awuoooooo! I was about to experience a ‘solar eclipse’ in someone’s house in a strange land! I held my phone tight ready to use it as my source of light just in case power went off before he came back.

Just then, there was some movement beneath the door, before I could even recover from the shock of the movement, a huge rat walked in through the space and stopped right before me. I quickly lifted my legs and placed them on the bed. I hate rodents! It stopped for a second, gave me a stern look as if warning me not to move, and proceeded to one corner of the house. My eyes confidently followed its every movement. It headed straight for the soap dish and after securing the soap in its mouth, it majestically walked past me back to the ‘hole’ it had come from. I was officially doomed! Where was I going to tell him the soap had gone to when he comes back? Wouldn’t he think I had stolen it?

My thoughts were interrupted by the door squeaking, I almost started screaming when he walked in covered in a huge nylon bag. It was drizzling outside. He quickly apologised for having taken long out. He had dropped me at his house 30 minutes earlier and had left to go and buy us dinner. In his right hand was a loaf of bread that must have taken a little bit longer in the oven than it should have. “This is for breakfast,” he said as he handed me the bread and locked the door behind him.

His was a small room; I could reach almost everything without moving an inch. So I leaned forward and placed the bread in his ‘Kitchen’ in one corner of the room. He then switched on his Samsung flat screen that stood firmly on a wooden stool and said he wanted to watch the Man U vs Chelsea game! So he also had DSTV? Watch the game with 0.19 units? I wondered. It was none of my business anyway, they were his units and it was his flat screen.

I went to the bathroom, which is outside and came back and made myself comfortable on his bed. I was sleepy and tired. We had spent the better part of the day skating at Panari winding it all up with a romantic dinner at Carnivore. It was a cold night, there was no way I was going to sleep in my birthday suit. All I did was remove money that was in my jeans pocket, placed it on his table next to his Samsung tablet and slipped my body between the sheets as he squeezed on one side of the bed to watch his game.

Just as I made myself comfortable, the 0.19 units rested in peace! He clicked and joined me in bed. I closed my eyes to sleep and all I could see was the rat walking in and taking my money! If it made away with soap, what about money? I slowly stretched my hand to the table and put my phone and money back into my pocket. I was not ready to take a risk.

I don’t know how but after a while, I finally managed to fall asleep. Later that night, I was woken up by movement on the bed. I shot from bed thinking that an Anaconda had come in through that space beneath the door only to find him standing on the bed tying tins beneath holes in the roof! It was raining cats and dogs outside and his roof was leaking terribly! I just clicked and went back to sleep!

I did not even take a shower when morning came; I just dressed up and went to wait for him in his car. Yes, I said his car, he drives a sleek BMW! Someone should introduce a course on ‘Setting your priorities right’ and all these Yahayas from the lakeside should pursue a degree in that course!