Procreational intimacy should last seconds: Understanding your man between the sheets

The pressure for men to perform in bed has led to untold misery, resulting in erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, low self-esteem, and with it, social limitations with the opposite sex.

Maurice Matheka, a sexologist, explains that people should not worry about performance since there are two types of sex: procreational and recreational.

Inability to differentiate between the two has led most men to try too hard to prove their prowess, yet “normally a man should ejaculate within seconds in procreational sex but when it comes to recreational sex, what’s the point of going to Nanyuki to have two minutes of sex?... that’s where the pressure comes from,” explains Matheka.

Sex for fun is the root of sexual pressure, and women, social media and fellow men don’t make matters better.

Religion and upbringing also exert pressure, as both can have a man interacting with the opposite sex late in life, and feelings of low exposure increases performance anxiety “even though they haven’t received negative feedback.”

The size of ‘Miss V’ does not matter, says Matheka “unless one has a very tiny penis” and men who worry about its size are plagued with insecurities including not achieving full erection resulting in feeling of “sponginess and hollowness” and which has little to do with the size of ‘Miss V’ and more with a man’s mentality.

“If you don’t have a full erection you will feel like you are floating. It is not the woman’s fault but yours. The only time it becomes big is when a woman gives birth and the tissues become over elastic. The vagina is designed to take up to five inches.”

Matheka also argues that porn is partly healthy as it ups a man’s game. 

“Porn is a science, a stimulus point. If your sex doesn’t look pornful then it’s boring like lovey-dovey sex. If your sex lasts less than five minutes that’s not pornful, it’s your fault.”