Six negative self-talk phrases to cut off your vocabulary

The art of talking to oneself is one that everyone should master. In fact, if you go through Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s book, ‘What to say when you talk to yourself’, you learn that you are a key audience to your own self-talk. It can provoke your emotions, and determine your general behavior. Through life’s ups and downs, we find ourselves putting the spotlight towards self and passing on harsh judgment. In a bid to help you appreciate your self even more, here are some common negative phrases you need to get rid of completely.

I can’t

Telling yourself that you are totally incapable of doing what is laid before you is a route of doom. Not only does it deny you the opportunity to try, even if to fail in the worst case scenario, but it also keeps wrecking your confidence.

It is a mere sign of cowardice in approaching goals. If presented with something you’d rather not attempt, you are better off telling yourself that ‘I choose not to concentrate on this now’. This works to boost your esteem, reminding you that you still have an opportunity and potential to perform at a later date of your choosing. Instead of rendering you completely powerless, you feel empowered that you are capable.

I am an idiot

When you brand yourself something, it sticks. Telling yourself that you are an idiot is an expression of how useless you feel about yourself. It approves that you are unworthy and your opinion should be trashed. Look around, nobody ever likes to be associated with stupidity. Escape from the cage of viewing self as someone who cannot contribute and impact the world positively. This tag is a devil’s game to tie your awesome mental abilities.

It’s my entire fault

We all wallow in guilt from time to time. What is more detrimental is blaming yourself for it. Often, the cases that lead you to blaming yourself are things beyond our control. Even after taking all necessary precautions, life, time and again, proves that we can’t control everything. Instead of going down the guilt ditch, remind yourself that you played a part in that situation and you are responsible only for your decisions and actions. This approach will gear you to taking responsibility up to the level that was in your conscious control.

I could be this by now

Everyone seems to be in a rat race which is strongly fuelled by competition nowadays. You notice your former school mates have bought a house while you still live with your parents and the spiral begins.

Comparing your achievements to those of others in regret does you no good. It starts forming your belief that you are a failure. Be kind to yourself and remind yourself of your goals. Check your vision board to check whether you are still on course. Remind yourself of what you are currently doing to stop you from draining yourself over what you aren’t already.

I never get it right

If you catch yourself giving yourself a lecture of how you never get things right, you are doing an injustice. One mistake is not a reason to box self in thinking everything you have done in the past and intending to do in the future never and won’t work out. It only but limits your psyche for new challenges and live to the fullest. Life is filled with mistakes. Only true learners of life consider their mistakes as lessons than ultimatums to never trying again.

They are better than me

We may be gifted differently, but having an approach that others stand a bigger chance than you puts you second. It shows that you do not believe in yourself and keep second-guessing your abilities. Remind yourself that you stand an equal chance like the rest.

Following the great Lao Tzu’s advice, watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. Remember, you are all you’ve got. Talking to yourself positively is the least you should do to grow you.

This month Eve is celebrating February as the month of Self-love. Join us in this journey by reading the self-love articles, talking to us on social media using the #LovingYourself hashtag