Dear Coleen
I was with my boyfriend for five years and was very happy with him. I found out he’d cheated on me for a year, but he said he’d break all contact with the other girl so I gave him another chance.
Three weeks later, he cheated again with the same girl, so I told him to leave and never come back, but he begged me to give him another chance and so I did.
Six months later, I discovered he was seeing the same girl again and this time I told him I couldn’t forgive him and that I was moving on.
I now have a new relationship with a great guy and I hadn’t spoken to my ex for three months until I bumped into him on the street recently.
He told me he wanted me back and even that he wanted us to get married. He claims he’s realised he loves me and not this other girl.
I still love him, but I don’t think I could ever fully trust him again and would expect him to cheat on me. What should I do?
Coleen says
Stand in front of the mirror and give yourself a good talking to. I’m sorry to say this, but if you go back to him, I’ll have no sympathy for you.
No matter how much you love him, you should love yourself enough to not allow anyone to treat you like this. How would you feel if you did marry him, had children and then he cheated again?
Why give up this new man who treats you well for someone who treats you so badly?
I don’t think you do love him – I think this relationship is almost an addiction and part of the attraction is the drama. You’ve given him too many chances – of course you can’t trust him again!
Ask yourself what you would say if you had a daughter and she was in this situation. I’m pretty sure you’d be telling her to break all ties and never look back.
I’m telling you now – if you marry him, every wedding guest will have their head in their hands in despair.