Peering through the strong masculine guise is nearly impossible. It is a thick opaque wall but what can they do, they have 'to be strong' for their wives, children, mothers, the whole clan, the entire society, and the world. The weight of responsibility men carry around is insane.
Remember the set book in high school, "Things fall apart by Chinua Achebe"? We probably forgot the storyline but not this statement, "when the centre cannot hold, things fall apart." The centre, sometimes, cannot hold, and things actually fall apart.
Let us face it, men, at the core, are just human. They have emotions and everything else that makes us different from robots. They get depressed, which most will never admit, so they run to bhang and alcohol. For that man, it is better to be known as an addict than an emotional sponge. Good news, there are some telltale signs; is he drinking a little too much? Is your father or brother becoming a little too irritable nowadays?
There it is, the red flag, he is literally waving the white flag, so be there for him.
Honestly, I have never seen anything more horrid under the sun than how men take their lives. Gruesome. They reserve enough anger to follow through, to jump from a twenty-story building, or to dangle their entire being on a rope.
Research shows that men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women. It also shows that women use less aggressive means.
Instead of shouting at the man in your life whenever he gets home drunk, be his peace, especially when you suspect he is depressed. Offer him warmth and do not expect him to open up, he might or he might not. But it will do him good to know that he is not alone in his world and that his efforts are appreciated.
So don't sit there expecting him to 'man up', what does that mean anyway?