Do’s and Don’ts when watching The Lion King

The new Lion King movie has been released and the world is shook. If you are above the age of 20 you understand how amazing the first animated movie was. The songs, the characters, the tears (sigh, Mufasa), the lessons we learnt (Scar! Oh my!) the list goes on. Now, some of you are excited to watch the new film and are even planning on taking your kids. Good for you. But if you’ve never watched The Lion King before (have you been living under a rock?), here’s a list to help you leave the movie theatre alive:

1. Know all the songs

Yes, with the new film we have new songs, but some of the OG songs are still there. Be rest assured the whole theatre will be singing along to awimbo weh, awimbo weh in the jungle the mighty jungle. Don’t just sit there staring like a deer in headlights. These Grammy and Oscar winning songs demand to be performed with all the Wakanda zeal available. Memorize the words, small small embarrassments we do not require.

2. Know the characters

Although the voice actors have changed (Hello there Queen B), the characters are still the same. Simba is Mufasa and Sarabi’s son. They are royalty, you know, king of the jungle. Anyway, Scar is Mufasa’s brother, he takes trash to another level. You need to hate him from the get go. Zazu is the trust worthy but a bit confused advisor of Mufasa. He’s the hornbill. Then we have Rafiki, the resident monkey, all knowing. He enjoys hitting people with his stick, it’s kinda his thing. Now Simba, remember him our main character, is best friends with Nala and these two are so cute together. Anyway. Scar (the one we hate) does some evil stuff, Simba suffers, he (Simba) meets Timon and Pumba (a meerkat and warthog). These two are very important. Lots of singing and dancing. There’s also three hyenas Shenzi, Kamari and Azizi - we don’t like these three, they are Scar’s minions. See? Not that hard to remember. Learn the characters please, we will not tolerate utterances such as “Who’s that?” “Why is he there?”

3. Use the restroom before the movie starts

Believe you me, no one is gonna allow you space to pass as you attempt to head to the rest room. Sit your behind down, hold it in or book an aisle sit. Do not disrupt the rest, we are trying to enjoy Simba whooping the absolute Hell out of  Scar and here you are “Excuse me, excuse me please” You will be assaulted, you may not live to see another day. Do you not value your life?

This is not a game ladies and gents...this is not a game.

4. Beehive please Beehave

Queen B has allowed us to experience absolute music pleasure by lending her Goddess like voice to this film but the Beehive needs to Beehave (see what I did there). We understand, she is the Queen, ruler of every feminist and boss of all C.E.Os but the rest of the movie goers would highly appreciate not hearing this everytime Nala comes on screen “yaaaasss, Queen B, show him” “yasss Queen B, go get your mans”. As a beehive member myself, it will take a lot of restraint not to call onto my Queen but for the sake of other movie goers I will shut it. Do the same. Thanks.

5. Judge the movie accordingly.

We all love original films mostly because of the nostalgia attached to it. I, for one, watched Lion King for the first time when I was 6 years old and there’s a video of me staring at the TV in awe. From then on, I watched Lion King every day before I left for school and when I came back home. I have memorized all the dialogues by heart. You can describe me at the ultimate fan but there are several millions just like me. Judge the film by its capability of bringing an almost 30 year old movie to the current audiences. If you are waiting to have the same feeling you had when you first watched the film, well it’s sad to break it to you but that may not happen. Ride this nostalgia train with us and reminisce on your younger days.

Now with that said, grab your squad, book your tickets, buy a truckload of popcorn and lets’ belt out to our favourite childhood songs.

Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase, Hakuna Matata ain’t no passing craze...it means not worries for the rest of your days.......