Sorry to say, but Kenyan men are the masters of mediocre make-outs. I understand that kissing is on a short list of things we are never actually taught, but there is really no excuse for lacklustre lip-locking abilities.
I’m sure every Kenyan woman has a tale of a kiss so terrible that left her with a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
It is sad, but I know quite a number of promising relationships that ended as a result of poor kissing.
I know it is odd and weird for two people to put their lips together, but once you get a hang of it, you will experience the magical feeling that comes with a magnificent kiss. Lip-locking requires conscious tact and techniques.
There are a few things you don’t need to be told about giving a good smooch, such as avoid stench-inducing foods like garlic and keeping your lips soft. There are other few not-so-obvious tips which I have highlighted below:
Go 90 per cent of the way and let her come 10 per cent of the way to you
This is especially important if it is your first time kissing a particular girl. The element of surprise might come back to bite you in the ass.
Most of the time, Kenyan men are too aggressive when moving in for the kiss. They just jam their tongue into a woman’s mouth with no warning whatsoever.
This might earn you a slap in the face and an abrupt end to your hot date. To be on the safe side, always lean in 90 per cent of the way.
If she is feeling it, she will come the other 10 per cent. If not, better luck on the next date.
Use your hands A kiss without a little touching is weird. Hold on you perv. I am not talking about groping her ass. Initiate a kiss by picking up her chin lightly with your hand.
It is very intimate and it will prepare her for what is coming. When you begin to kiss her, you can place your hands on her cheeks or run your fingers through her hair.
As the kiss becomes more powerful and intense, you can place your hands on the small of her back and pull her towards you.
Don’t slobber all over her Sloppy kisses are disgusting. Keep your spit under control! Great kisses have been ruined by sloppiness.
If she has to pull away from you to wipe your slob off her face, then it is game over man. Learn to manage your saliva levels.
It is okay to pull back for a moment and swallow. Just don’t make it too obvious.
Keep your tongue in check It is okay to explore the inner works of her mouth during a make-out session, but whatever you do, use your tongue sparingly!
Here is a hint; if your tongue is in her oesophagus, you are doing it wrong. Most people don’t appreciate a warm slug pushed to the back of their throats.
Also, the tongue goes in the mouth, not on her face! Don’t start licking her face or pushing your tongue up her nostrils! A full-on tongue-bath during a lip-locking session is a huge no-no
Manage your facial hair Guys, beard burn is a real thing! Your woman may never mention it, but pretty much every woman has at one point in her life had to endure stubble-induced rug burns on her face during a make out session with her man and take it from me, it is not pretty.
So, do us a favour and keep things smooth!
@roxannekenya