By Rozie Juma
Our society and culture frown upon public displays of affection. Etiquette, thus, dictates that people should not touch or kiss in public.
A public display of affection refers to the physical demonstration of romantic feelings for another person while in the view of others. Holding hands and kissing in public are examples of such displays. Any action of intimacy that goes beyond this can only be referred to as indecent exposure.
Despite our culture being rather rigid, some public displays of affection are easily overlooked while others just irritate.
Social kissing falls in a different category since it entails the brushing of a cheek. It is a kiss where one actually kisses the air next to the cheek. Social kissing gives those uncomfortable giving people a handshake a bit of breathing room.
However, while you may enjoy greeting people with a kiss, not everyone likes it. Others also find it embarrassing.
Social kissing takes some getting used to for the average Kenyan. If you are not for it and someone seems keen on offering it, stick your hand out firmly and keep your elbow straight. This way, you show that you are willing to shake hands, and nothing more.
It is acceptable to have a social ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ kiss if both parties are comfortable with it. It could start with a social hug, and if the relationship gets better, the hug can turn into a quick peck on the cheek or an air kiss.
If you have to make a choice between a handshake and a kiss, take stock of your situation first, and see what others around you are doing. It is most likely that women will kiss both men and women. Men, on the other hand, will be more comfortable giving a woman a social kiss but opt for the handshake or friendly hug, at most, for fellow men.
When not sure whether to give a handshake or social kiss, put out your hand and simultaneously step forward. This way, you shake the other person’s hand yet are in a non-embarrassing body position to lean in and air kiss them.
Tips:
• Always consider the nature of your relationship with the other person; never kiss someone you have not met before.
• If you happen to kiss someone and your spouse is uncomfortable, stop!
• If you are in the habit of air kissing, avoid the ‘mwaah, mwaah’ sound in the other party’s ear. If you have to make the sound, let it be a bit discreet.
• Air kissing is common at social events such as weddings, because these are occasions that bring friends together.
• Only air kiss people you know, but not very well; those close to you deserve a hug as an addition.