It is 7.00pm Wednesday night. I am bored out of mind wondering whether to play another round of solitaire on my laptop or watch a rerun of ‘Game of thrones’. Suddenly, my phone pings and lights up. I have a text message.
It is from Greg, the guy I have been seeing for two months. He’s been MIA for two weeks. The text reads: “Hi, hope you are well. Want to grab a drink tonight?” I reply: “No, sorry. I can’t make it. I am busy”. It doesn’t matter how cute I think a guy is or how bored I am, I will never be anyone’s last minute option!
I have dated a lot of guys like Greg before; the guys who can’t commit to date plans because they are always “busy” but will shoot you a quick text once in a while asking you if you want to hang out at the last minute.
I used to be miss last minute option. I would accept to go on dates with an hour’s notice. I was that pathetic chic who is put on standby while the guy decided whether he is going to be available for her or not. But not anymore!
I don’t accept Saturday night dates after Wednesday. I have a rule: Never see a man with less than seven days notice. Men are duplicitous beings and women need to start wising up on their devious tactics.
A man will always be ‘busy’ when you want to meet. He will never commit to any plans you make. He will flake on you repeatedly. However, when he starts feeling a little randy or when he wants to get his ego pumped, he will spring his plans on you at the last minute and expect you to drop everything to go and meet him.
Sadly, most women are all too happy to be on men’s waiting lists. They will jump on the offer to meet a man who they haven’t heard from in a while, but suddenly wants to meet in an hour. Ladies, it doesn’t matter if he buys you dinner and drinks first to butter you up. The truth is that it is not a date; it is a booty call.
The man who always wants to see you at the last minute has absolutely no respect for you and your time. You also have no respect for yourself if you so readily agree to be some guy’s sudden impulse.
He thinks so low of you that he assumes you have nothing better to do and you prove him right. Such a man knows he doesn’t have to put a lot of effort to get you to drop your plans, and more, for him. Spontaneity when it comes to dates is not cute at all. It signals commitment issues.
I only accept dates that are well thought out and planned in advance. If a man can’t commit to a proper date, he doesn’t deserve my time or my goodies. My time is valuable and I am not going to waste it on every Tom, Dick and Harry willing to buy me a cocktail. I am not that cheap. I only avail myself to men who are keen on making plans. I am a busy woman.