Cheating man? Here's how to secure your future

Last Sunday, my pastor asked all women in church to stand up and honor men on their special day; Father’s Day. Once we were done, he started reading them the riot act – that they have become notorious with ‘mpango wa kando’ and it is something they should pull themselves out of as it is eating into the family’s financial freedom as well as the family peace.

“It is pathetic,” he fumed, “that you are here every Sunday as good ‘family men’ but what you do out there is shameful. Seek redress. Stop this ‘mpango wa kando’ disgrace!”

If this behavior has reached alarming levels and the church is concerned, what should the wife do to financially insulate herself from the economic disappointment that such affairs spell on the family? Will you change the usual family budgeting process to take care of that day you feel you probably will have nothing to offer your children?

It is also important to deal with the costly emotional hurt because it will trigger other diseases which at the end will leave you more shattered and probably bankrupt.

People go into marriage with a belief in oneness; that the couple will work as a team and nurture the children they will get as well us save for their sunset years.

When there is a third party to this equation, the formula must change in many ways. There is hurt but you should not allow it to shroud your mind. Think straight. Don’t deviate from your envisioned plan for your mid-life and retirement. If anything, grasp this more tightly.

When the thunderbolt strikes, take the first step of getting help from the right professionals. It is not the end of the world, so see the brighter side of life.

His being guilty after being caught might release his purse strings. Do not extravagantly spend this money but put it in a project such as a business you are starting. Nurture this business or any other thing you starting with all your heart and get solid advice on how to improve and earn more profits.

Since the ‘king’ you spent most of your time to please has found pleasure elsewhere, think of how to improve yourself. Go back to school and improve your papers. This will open doors for you and hence more money will come your way in terms of promotion or other opportunities.

As you work together as a family trying to move from one level to the next, always remember to put aside something for yourself just in case. It is human nature to bear this in mind. We are not angels therefore disappointment is part of life’s matrix.

Do not spend a dime of your hard earned cash to hire goons to ‘discipline’ the ‘mpango wa kando’ you just discovered. Put that money to better use. You can even have a spa, a massage or take yourself for a holiday. Fighting a rival boomerangs most of the time. You will be wasting your time.

I know of a woman who fought the husband’s ‘mpango wa kando’ for years only for them to end up being co-wives. Fighting puts you down and rips you apart financially.

Also, when you keep fighting the women in your man’s life, how many times are you going to fight them? When you find out about one, he gets a new one.

That is what gives him thrill and he will not stop because you busted him. The man has great desire to share the family resources with a sister.

Instead, go back to the drawing board and analyze your financial plans as a family. One option is to influence your man to have the properties registered under names of your children.

This is the only way to ensure that what you have sweated to acquire alongside your partner over the years does not go to someone who has no idea of your struggles. Ensure the family house too, has the children registered as beneficiaries. This secures their future long after you are gone.