It is not common to find a stay-at-home dad. This is often seen as an anomaly since most times, it is the mother who is expected to stay at home to take care of the family. However, circumstances can force a dad to be the main caregiver of the children and the homemaker of the household. Of course, in some instances, it’s the husband’s choice to stay at home and let the wife be the provider. Some of the circumstances may include the following.
The mother earns more than the father.
The education level of the mother, her expertise in the field, family background or experience can predispose her to earn more than the husband. If her income is many times more than that of her husband, the father can choose to stay at home as she provides for the family.
When the father wants to be with the kids.
Though unheard of and sounds like a movie script, some fathers can't wait to be with their children. They long for the hour when they will get home and embrace their little ones. This may prompt a father to leave gainful employment and stay at home with the children.
When the father can't find a job.
Unemployment is real. Many people can't find jobs despite their qualifications. Rather than tarmac endlessly as the wife pays a house help, it is better to stay at home. The cost of paying a house help may be too high. Besides, it may also be difficult to find a house help who does a perfect job.
Unforeseen circumstances like accidents.
When a father falls ill and takes long to heal or is involved in a terrible accident, staying with the kids as he recuperate can be an option. In such circumstances, he can monitor the house help or take charge of simple tasks which may not be straining.
In spite of this new phenomena, it should be noted that it has its setbacks. Dual earner couples are less exposed to economic vulnerability. When one partner loses a job or undergoes retrenchment, the family will still have its financial muscle. This therefore means that stay at home dads should not be comfortable at home. They need to look at options like working from home and bringing in that extra cash.
When the mother is the breadwinner, it's very stressing for her. She will feel overwhelmed to make things work. Many people may also not understand what is going on. They will imagine she is keeping her husband and he is a loser who can't find a job. Such cases need a couple to understand and be deaf to naysayers.
The mother might also feel like the boss. Many mothers may feel they are losing it to the father since he is Mr.Mom. This should not be the case. A couple can decide on the duties. A mother should also find time to bond with the kids after a long day at work. She can read for them story books, prepare dinner or lay for them their school clothes. A father is not a super hero who is expected to do everything. In fact, he should have the "me time." Taking a nap as the children sleep, reading a book,going to the gym or catching a football match are important.
Mothers should not have the idea that since they bring bacon home, then the father should take up their roles. Both partners should work to raise the children. They should share duties beforehand to avoid conflicts. The mother can take kids to school, pick up the clothes from the dry cleaner and pay the bills as she goes to work. The same would apply if the husband were the bread winner.