Dear Coleen
My stepdad was jailed for 15 years for sexually abusing me .
I thought after the court case and him being put away last year that I’d start to move on – but I haven’t.
I’m drinking all the time to block things out and I push people away because I’m scared of being hurt.
I’m stuck in a horrible rut and don’t know what to do.
At times I have felt like ending it all but I have two children who l love more than anything.
I just want to be happy.
Coleen says
Seeing your abuser jailed can be a catalyst to helping you begin to move on.But after what you’ve been through, it was never going to be an instant fix.
Those memories aren’t just going to be taken away now he’s behind bars. It’s the start of the healing process. It’s going to take time, but you can get there.
You don’t mention if you’ve had any professional counselling to help you deal with these very difficult emotions and, no doubt, years of suppressing them.
It’s something that’s very hard to get through alone. See your GP and explain how low you’re feeling – they will treat everything you say in confidence and can refer you to a counsellor.
You need to be able to express your anger and all the other complicated emotions you feel. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength.
Whatever, you do, please don’t think of harming yourself. If you do that, he’s won.
I admire you so much – you have been so strong and helped to put your abuser away. But now you must focus on yourself and your children.