In every office there is sizzling office romance. And the interesting thing about our office is that the vice is rampant among married couples.
For strange reasons, men find we the married women alluring despite the fact that we are off limits because of obvious reasons. So every married woman, has an open/secret admirer — that one man who is always hovering at her desk keeping her busy with endless chatter, buying her random lunches after pay day and taking her for coffee and dinner dates if she is willing to risk further.
I will not play Mother Theresa here and lie to you that I do not have an office ‘boyfriend’. But unlike my married colleagues who are adventurous, I am not daring enough to explore those dangerous waters. I mean, every time a man tries to shoot a sexual dagger my way, the vows I made echo so loudly in my head it’s like the heavens are reminding me that the windows of opportunity to eat the forbidden fruit were shut the day I said ‘I do’.
So for me and my office ‘boyfriend’, our relationship is limited to frequent sharing of comical videos, links and memes online. Whenever I notice that he wants to cross the line by throwing sexually explicit comments at me via social media (WhatsApp and Facebook) I switch off.
I am alive to the fact that the moment I start entertaining such sexual overtones, the next thing is sex escapades unlimited. But the interesting thing is that while I am playing it safe, majority of the married colleagues have let down the guard. For instance, there is this office couple who openly philander yet everybody knows they are married (and not a come-we-stay but a church wedding that the whole community witnessed).
Now this colleague, let’s call her Sandra, is in a steamy romance with another married man (Sam) and it is an open secret in the office. This office union is so official in the office everybody from the security guards to the tea girl and fellow colleagues ‘recognise’ it.
Sandra and Sam are so close; they drive to work in the same car yet they live in totally separate estates. Fellow male colleagues avoid Sandra like the plague because they know she is marked territory (Sam is the boss and Sandra the secretary). So if you want to go and see the boss, you have to give her strong reasons that you don’t intend to overthrow Sandra’s government. And that is how it is in the office, every woman goes to great lengths to protect her territory, so if you are like me who has no turf, it gets pretty lonely at times when couples decide to pair up.
But this romance comes with disastrous consequences. The other day, Sam’s wife showed up at the office demanding to see this woman who is ruining her home. And it was Afro-cinema reloaded. Those are indeed the things that spice up the office environment that is always routine, boring and predictable.