Protest nightmare for parents, and what to do

Youth write placards ahead of their planned walk along Nairobi to reject Finance Bill 2024. (Dennish Ochieng,Standard)

What do you do when your young adult explores the world on their own? While you see them as children, they are grown up and your influence diminished. This is a question many parents of Gen-Z found themselves struggling to answer in the past few weeks.

“Isn’t that Mwalimu’s son on the screen? Please come prove me wrong,” Emmanuel Muriuki called out to his wife Serah, who was preparing dinner for the family.

She was expecting her two sons and daughter, all young adults, but still living with them to be home anytime soon. 

Unfortunately, when she got to the living room, the images of the protesting crowd were no longer on the screen. Supposedly, the young man in question was the 21-year-old son of their next-door neighbour and family friend.

The young man, according to the Muriukis is a quiet, humble, and reserved young man – a contradiction to the one Muriuki had seen among the protestors in the city.

Muriuki called his neighbour to inquire and was alarmed when he was told by his father that they were worried as Junior was not home, and had not called to say where he was. He was not picking up their calls, neither was their 19-year-old daughter. 

As the two families contacted their friends, relatives, and acquaintances, the feedback resonated with the experience of their neighbour.

Within hours, the Muriukis realised their young adults were not coming home too. 

However, they were lucky to reach their children through their phones and confirmed their worst fears – they were part of the protestors in the protest against Finance Bill 2024.  

“We realised that the routine, and strict discipline of getting back home before 10pm, unless with prior notice of the intention to be out, was no longer applicable, and no amount of pleading pressure, or condemning was going to change the status quo taken by our three young adults,” says Serah. 

Twenty-three-year-old Nilita Mwasi, called her family to let them know she was participating in the demos. “Our daughter called to let us know that she was actively involved in the Gen Zs protests against the Finance Bill, 2024.”

She asked us to pray for his safety and that of other Gen Zs,” said the Mwasis.

Mwasi’s father, Benson Mwasi, says at first he was scared, especially after watching the evolving scary scenes of the protestors and realising the magnitude of the moment.

“I was so full of admiration for this population emboldened Gen Z for expressing themselves through peaceful demos,” said Mwasi. 

For the last two weeks, these scenes have been familiar to Gen Z parents drawn from various professionals – clergy, lawyers, business, doctors, teachers, activists, farmers, and politicians, who have openly expressed admiration and support for their children. Their only concern has been and remains their safety. 

Ruth Keah, a psychologist, says the Gen Z protests have brought many parents of this age group to a new environment of their parenting roles to the young adults – whether living with them or not.

“It is no longer business as usual for the parents of these young adults, and for the Alpha generation too, who are closely following and borrowing a leaf from their brothers and sisters in the Gen Z and the millennials,” says Keah.

What can parents to Gen-Z do?

Keah gives the following advice to parents during these trying moments. 

She advises parents to remember that young adults are already adults and have passed through the intersection of different cultures, genders, and sexualities, and this has helped them be aware of their different environments, meaning they can cope with different situations. 

“Always remember that although your children are now young adults and can make their own decisions, the job is not over until it is over, and although they have gained new competence and freedom, they will face additional challenges,” says Keah.

She explains that while a parent’s control over their children’s lives may seem unnecessary, there is the need to remain supportive.

Statistics indicate that many young adults between the ages of 18 and 34 are living with their parents. Most of the time when adults share space with their parents, roles are divided on who pays for what.

Young adults may find themselves engaged in a sudden disruption of this kind of arrangement, parents should continue to offer to help where necessary and engage in a conversation that will determine the level of their needs – psychologically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. 

Change tactics. Instead of telling the young adults what you think they should do during a crisis time, ask about their needs, touching on their values, goals, and dreams. If they ask you for guidance on how to achieve these, let their dreams guide your conversation.

Explore the pros and cons if they leave the lines of conversation open and keep talking, and if at a particular point, you realise they may need help, encourage them to see a professional who will help them navigate the landscape. 

Invest in other young adults.

You will realise that your children have other young adults in their network, who may be interested in knowing how you navigated through your teens, 20s, and 30s.

Young adults are always curious about how older adults balanced competing priorities chose careers, knew when they had found their spouses, or how you managed crises and stressful moments alongside making challenging decisions.

When you interact with these young adults, you will understand more about the challenges faced by their generation. 

Trust young adults with decisions

Though they may not necessarily make the best decisions, respect their choices and show support. Only put your thoughts forward and advice when requested.

This means trusting in their resilience and the ability to bounce back after a failure or enduring trials. Trust their ability in maneuvering their destiny through overcoming failure and enduring trials. 

As you maneuver the landscape of parenting young adults, always seek professional help when you think there is a need before you lose your children to trauma.

“The journey of parenting young adults is not an easy road, but following professionals and experts who will make it easy for you to keep off the suffocating path and help you step back when necessary without abandoning,” says the psychologist.