10 mistakes wives make against hubbies

An unhappy married couple. (Courtesy/iStock)

Some couples swear that marriage is a beautiful thing because ‘he who finds a wife, finds a good thing.’ But some wives can be a pain in the rear - particularly the spoilt and nagging millennial wives. Their drama can push men against the wall to the point of divorce. Here are some of the ‘madness’ of married women that drive men nuts:

1. Aibu ndogo, ndogo

Wives are known to throw their hubbies under the bus in public. But pointing out his faults, criticising or correcting him in front of others can make him feel or look like an idiot (although he could be one or both), and that’s demeaning. Don’t embarrass him in any way, especially in front of your children, other family members, domestic workers or strangers. If you must, do it in private.

2. Historical injustices

So he forgot your birthday five years ago, or you found a used condom in his coat pocket while you were still dating. What’s the point of bringing it up 20 years later, or every time an argument crops up? Wacha yaishe! Let go of things and if there are unresolved issues, deal with them in a respectable way.

3. Home is where hell is

When a husband walks through the door and the first words he hears are, “Mtoto alifukuzwa juu ya fees, or umelipa bill ya maji? Or watu wa ushago wanataka pesa,” coming home becomes like going to hell for him. Show some love with a peck and silence and uwache tau tau! 

4. Sissy rules  

Expecting your man to sit with you for five hours in the salon, go on shopping sprees with you, or sit and watch a chick flick with you just so you feel loved and appreciated as a wife is unreasonable. Appreciate him for being a man, and leave the girl stuff to your girlfriends.

5. Playing shrink

Just tell him what you want, period! Wives should quit playing those mind games where they assume, “If he really loved me, I wouldn’t have to tell him that I want him to . . .”

6. He is not your baby

There is no point sulking or scolding your husband because he does not squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or put down the toilet lid. Men don’t think like we do and it can be challenging for them to measure up to women’s expectations or desires. Jua hivyo and behave accordingly. And if he breaks the rules, don’t use the same tone like you would on your last born. It is disrespectful.

7. Timing, my dear

Okay, so you found an “incriminating text” on his phone or he told you he did not have money but sent his mother 10k. Do not wait until bedtime to bring up a topic of discussion that has the potential to put the two of you on opposite sides of an all-out battle until dawn. Major conflicts are for early evening or the weekend...but not when his team has lost...and he had a placed bet on the game!

8. Kila nyani na starehe zake

Your baba watoto might not like going to church on Sundays like jirani’s hubby. He does not have to open the car door for you like the Casanova in the movie, Indecent Proposal, and he may not sound as knowledgeable as your best friend’s man.

Stop comparing him with others and learn to appreciate the unique and positive qualities about him - like wearing clean underpants most Sundays!

9. Cold War is over

Choosing the silent treatment as a means of protesting, showing you are aggrieved or as a tool of manipulation can cause more harm than you intended. Speak up, woman! Cold War is so 1980. Be honest and humble in your communication though.

10. Keep lungula out of it

Deciding to deny him his conjugal rights for selfish reasons is against both the law of nature. Sex should not be used as a weapon when you want an outrageous amount of cash. So, mabibi, do not tighten the cookie jar to punish your tax-burdened, God-fearing hubby, and don’t use lungula as a blackmail.