If she's not contented with your life, don't say 'I do'

If you ask any man or woman, what would be the key focus point before you decided to settled down with them, they would obviously list down, Faithfulness, Trust and Love as the key virtues before, they settle down. They all right, we all seek faithfulness, love and trust in a relationship and later on marriage, no one would love to settle down with a partner who is not trustworthy, who does not love them or who isn't faithful.

I am not a marriage expert, not even married, I shouldn't even be writing about this, because everyone will ask, yes tell us "What experience do you have in marriage to lecture us on the same?" True to the concern, I got no experience and I shouldn't be writing on this topic. So it may please you to just treat my views as just opinions, yes opinions that shouldn't be taken seriously. But let’s have an exception of anyone, with curiosity on what a bachelor has to write on grounds that he has never tested nor experienced.

Contentment the oxford online dictionary describes this as "A state of happiness and satisfaction" it goes on to give a sentence example of " He found contentment in living a simple life in the country. The urban dictionary even puts it much clearer "Resting in who you are, who you have and what you have". It goes on to explain that , this is a state of the mind you reach when you look at life in all it's imperfection, and say "good enough" this is what I have, I desire no more. Remember, contentment has absolutely nothing to do with external pleasure or condition, but rather your attitude.

As we wake up each day, the goodness of life hits us with new goodies, goodies that sometimes are far beyond our reach not because we don't want them but because, our hustles can't support their price tags. As we wake each day, life is demanding more from us, the goodies that life has to offer are too good to be assumed, too good to be avoided. Would you for instance reject an opportunity to drive a car? Would she stick with an old school hairstyle when Brazilian weaves are the in thing? Would both of you refuse a chance to own an iphone when everyone else is flaunting one? This ain't possible, believe you me. If you ask me whether I am comfortable with footsubishi (Walking on foot) as opposed to a Mitsubishi, clearly I will be lying to you if I said yes.

So why would I bring in contentment to the matters of the heart? Simple, "The heart, hurts most if we give them our hearts when they are not satisfied with our current state of affairs and decide to seek refuge elsewhere behind our backs.  Let's be true to ourselves, if you settle with a partner, who is not satisfied with the little you have, you have began a long journey to a future emotional torture, heartbreak and disappointment. How would you feel for instance, when you come to realize that a lover to your sweetheart paid for your wedding honeymoon? That the same lover, has been funding your family with the expensive gifts and lifestyle that your partner leads? Especially if you are a man? What happens to your ego? Your pride?

One lesson I have learnt, especially in matters to do with relationships (Remember I am no expert, so you may choose to ignore this one too), is "Stay clear any partner who is not contented with your current state of affairs. Yes I may be wrong but how would you stick with a lady for instance, who wants to be driven, because all her friends are being driven, who wants to be treated to far-away holidays because her friends are treated to the same, who wants the most recent phone make, the latest fashion on the shelves yet you can barely survive after clearing all your monthly bills? How will such a lady stick by your side yet her friends are already enticing her with their expensive lifestyles? A lifestyle your hustle can't support, a lifestyle she wants you to support?

Hear me out, they may love you so much but if they are not contented, satisfied with your resources, believe you me, that relationship won't last. They will either become side-chicks to some wealthy married men who have no problem with them dating you (It's a security cover up anyway, just in case their spouses become suspicious, they would easily say, she dates Pete and I have nothing to do with her), wealthy men, who can drive them to a far away holiday resort, where they get spoiled with expensive, gifts, dresses, gadgets, swimming pool, in exchange for the much desired sex. Or they will force you into debts and leave you in a sorry state, onto the next chap who can fund their lifestyle.

So I repeat, it's better to stay clear and thought a fool for having left such an adorable partner, than invest so much in a relationship that will later bring you emotional pain, hurt, and hatred. If she wants a seat-belt selfie which you can't provide please avoid her like plague, If she wants to fly, when you've never been to an airport, please  run, if she demands for a weave that costs twice your salary, please walk off, if she wants a pool side selfie for her Instagram page, and you can't constantly clear such bills, please just walk away, if needs an iphone yet your phone is less than 20K and she knows that, please you are staring into debts, kindly walk away stupidly. If you can't afford her expensive jewelry, she is not your class, just let her be.

Remember, they may stick with you, but have someone else funding her lifestyle and you can't imagine the pain that will cause you, because definitely her lifestyle is funded at a cost. A sexual cost and you are just being used as a cover up. That is mockery of the highest order!

So what next (I don't know, because I have constantly told you I am not Dr. Cupid, I am not a marriage counselor not even married, but this are my layman views) after love, trust and faithfulness, check whether they are contented with the resources you have, check who their friends are and how much impact their friends have on their life decisions, check whether they are satisfied and patient with your lifestyle. If not, thank God and pray for a new partner who won't disappoint you!