To musician Freshly Mwamburi: Stella was too ambitious for you bro

Every year, when the month of May rolls around and the year officially hits the highway, we remember the plight of that nice gentleman who finished last, Freshly Mwamburi.

We remember his selflessness, his determined feminism, and the heartbreak that ensued because of it. We imagine the scene at the airport, with him in a suit, heart aflutter and loins probably twitching, waiting for his lover to deplane. We picture the crowd he had brought with him, drunk uncles and confused children. We cringe at the optics of Dr Stella stepping out of that plane, baby and new husband cowering behind her because she clearly wore the pants in that relationship, and we grudgingly admit that she has balls the size of bricks.