Soft guy era ideology: Why men want women who bring more to the table

To all netizens who have heard of “Sprinkle Sprinkle” on social media platforms, now you need to learn about “Drizzle Drizzle.”

This trend emerged after ‘Sprinkle Sprinkle’ by YouTube sensation Leticia Padua (famously known as SheRa Seven), which discusses women wanting to be entirely provided for by their spouses or partners without lifting a finger, became the talk of the town.

“Sprinkle Sprinkle” is a term coined by SheRa Seven meaning “bless your heart” or “right back at you.” Unlike ‘Sprinkle Sprinkle,’ Drizzle Drizzle speaks about men receiving privileges and being taken care of financially by their spouses or partners.

“Drizzle Drizzle” began as a conflicting trend where men would talk about demands, sometimes unrealistic, on how a woman should treat her boyfriend or husband. Some called it the ‘Soft Guy Era Movement’ to mock what was referred to as the ‘Soft Girl Era Movement.’ The ‘Soft Girl Era Movement’ encouraged women to abandon the independent girl lifestyle and look for a man to provide for them to avoid the pressure of footing bills. For the Soft Guy Era, it is the same concept.

Due to various reactions, especially from women who supported Sprinkle Sprinkle, TikTokers @scarfacemark and @lil.goodie came up with Drizzle Drizzle. They started posting videos parodying the Sprinkle Sprinkle ideology and calling out women who they referred to as “entitled” for pressuring and denying ‘broke’ men an opportunity to date or be in a relationship with them. To make their doctrine stick, they made comedic videos stating that men did not want to engage in a relationship or marriage with broke women and instead, men needed rich women to take care of them. According to them, this is for men entering the ‘Soft Guy Era.’

In a video on @scarfacemark‘s TikTok page, the co-founder of Drizzle Drizzle shares more about the trend. “People talk about the Soft Guy Era and say that if you are not a provider, you are not a real man. Why would you want to date a woman who is broke? These rich men are not dating broke women! Look at Jay Z, he is married to Beyoncé who is filthy rich. Asap Rocky is dating Rihanna and she is a billionaire. The question is: Why would you do it if rich men cannot date broke women?” The idea is women should support the relationship financially as much as they would expect a man to do for them.

In the Kenyan relationship structure, what would people think about the concept of a financially well-off female partner? Is the Soft Guy Era ideology worth it among Kenyans today?

According to some men, they would gladly date a woman who has more money than them in order to finance their lifestyle. “If she can pay rent, buy me gifts, cater for vacations, and still give me money, then I would not mind being in that relationship. Broke women just encourage a broke mentality.”

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However, Kelly Otieno and Sydney Aganda have a different opinion. “Even if the woman gives you money and acts as a breadwinner in the relationship, it is important to note that the relationship will definitely not last long because she will end up being the boss,” Sydney stated.

“In my opinion, I would like a woman who is financially literate. A woman who understands how to make and save money. It’s not a bad thing if she is richer or financially better off than me, but I would emphasize not relying on her but rather working together for the benefit of the relationship,” Kelly shared.

Just like Sprinkle Sprinkle, the Internet was flooded with different reactions from both male and female netizens. Some believe that the Soft Guy Era is a takedown of what they term as “entitled or denominated women.” They claim broke women consider themselves the prize in the relationship and bring down broke men by refusing to date them. Instead, they are praised for shunning them.

There are women who envision the Soft Guy Era as a positive and hilarious way of curbing the more toxic side of the feminist movement. Some throw shade at the idea, suggesting that the ideology feminizes men. As a result, women are trending and posting videos of their responses to the ‘Drizzle Drizzle’ trend.

“Instead of teaching men how to generate income, you are promoting the same lifestyle that you hate some women for. You guys don’t hate what some women are doing; you just wish you all could do the same,” an unnamed user commented on one of the TikTok posts.

Even with social media trying to change relationship and patriarchal norms, it all boils down to the choices one makes.

If you are a man or woman who advocates for ‘Drizzle Drizzle,’ then it’s your free will to do so. If you don’t support either Drizzle Drizzle or Sprinkle Sprinkle, it’s okay to normalize the patriarchal norms we had before.

The question remains: which one would you choose?

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