Don't let confusing parenting advice scare you

Don’t let confusing parenting advice scare you (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

Why is everything I read about parenting so confusing? Because what I read in one book or article often contradicts what’s in another! Some solid advice, please!

Confused Parent

 Chris says,

Hi Confused Parent!

You’re right, information about parenting is confusing.

Like many writers, it makes the world seem so scary that parents become overprotective. They feel they can’t let their children play outside unsupervised or walk to school alone. But that means they don’t develop independence and grow up with little idea of how to deal with the real world.

The world is safer than ever for children, provided we give them the skills they need. Overprotection just means a steeper learning curve later on, when the stakes are much higher.

Some campaigners say children need to be shielded from the facts of life or they’ll become promiscuous. But children find out for themselves anyway, even if they often get things wrong! Give them good information and clear values and they’ll be fine.

And don’t try to keep them too clean! Advertisements constantly scare us into sterilising everything. But children who are exposed to dirt are healthier, with better immunity and far fewer allergies.

It would help if you also vaccinated your children. The scare stories are just wrong. Vaccines are one of the greatest successes of modern medicine, with benefits that far outweigh the minimal risks.

Teaching children to work hard and persevere is as important as ever. So don’t let them give up too easily. Praise your children for their effort, perseverance and hard work so that they persevere and succeed.

When your child gets good grades, don’t say, “You’re smart! Say, ‘I can see you have worked really hard. Children who are praised for being clever tend to give up easily.

You should also set the rules and enforce them. Setting limits helps children develop self-control. If you’re warm to them but in charge, they’ll become more socially skilled, resilient, mature and responsible.

And teach them to cook, including cleaning up afterwards!

All the best,

Chris