Are you struggling to find the right partner?

 

You must kiss many frogs before finding the right one (Photo: iStock)

 

Deep down, many of us have the natural desire to meet someone special. We want someone who we can talk to without feeling judged, someone we can build a legacy with and a partner who we can start a family with.

However, when we step into the real world, it quickly dawns on us that things are not as simple as romantic films portray.

This love journey is tough if not confusing for most people and you will kiss many frogs before finding the one.

Hopefully, this list can help you figure that out and bring you closer to the right partner:

• Realign your expectations

The majority of people would desire to be with the top one per cent of people. For the ladies, that is someone who is blessed in every area whether it’s looks or money and for the guys, it’s a ten out of ten and nothing less.

However, that doesn’t mean that this is what you should go for. Neither does it mean that everyone qualifies for the crème de la crème of the dating pool.

Basically, don’t be fixated on the shallow qualities because you might be trying to find someone who only exists on mars.

Most people look for love in all the wrong places (Photo: iStock)

• Use your values as a guide

It’s necessary to have realistic standards but that doesn’t mean that you should compromise on the most important things like your values.

If for example, you don’t believe that you have to sleep with someone before you’re married, stick to that. If you decide to ignore those essential foundations, then you’re responsible for the outcomes you get in future.

• Look in the right places

There’s a lot that can be said about you based on where you like to hang out. The same can be said about the type of person you’re looking for and where your mind is at as far as relationships are concerned.

Some of the places you might find people who are relationship material are maybe networking events, work or a restaurant.

You might have to approach someone you’re interested in, strike a friendship then get to know them better.

Define the kind of relationship you want from the beginning, if it starts physical it may never build up to something real (Photo: iStock)

• Prioritise the long term

As you figure out how to navigate dating, you should always have the long-term perspective in mind.

If you think about it, it might not work if you force a relationship with someone you’re not attracted to at all because you’re the one who will struggle. It might also not be a good idea to proceed with someone whose career would mean they’re away most of the time if you can’t handle that.

Thinking about these details will help you make the right decision clearly and early.

• Deal with your baggage

It’s always harder to have a stable, healthy relationship when you’re carrying a lot of emotional baggage from the past. Even when you find someone who is suitable, you won’t recognize it because you have many issues going on.

You need to make sure that you are ready to date first so that you also attract someone who is capable of having something meaningful.