Women who compete men suffer Imposter Syndrome

A couple arguing. (Courtesy/iStockphoto)

The boy child is under-empowered. This was the response from one person after going through many posts of ladies asking to meet men on several online forums. The ladies stated their preferences and what they wanted in men which looked like there were not enough men at the top to meet the ladies’ demands. That is not the case.

It is still a man’s world despite ladies making great strides. As more and more ladies are going to the top, they begin to realise that it is lonely up there. The men at the top are already taken or prefer ladies a rung lower in status. It is not about the boy child being ignored.

In 2017, the United States women's soccer team was preparing to play a friendly match against Russia. This was in preparation for the FIFA Women's World Cup. A mad soul decided to organise a friendly between them and FC Dallas Under 15 boys’ team. The juniors won by five goals to two. Nevertheless, despite the loss, the US women national team still won the Olympics and Women World Cup.

This result has been used to justify why women football players earn about a quarter of what men are paid. The gender wars can go on for as long as we push what men can do women can do theorem. However, men and women are fundamentally different. Some ceilings will have to remain unless it is about equality for the sake of it in line with affirmative action.

The assumption is that the ladies going to the top are taking up space for the boy child. While at it they are also scaring the boy out of the way. The girl child can fly and perch as the boy flies and perches as well. When all the noise cools down, we are animals and biology dictates that we must make compromises for pair bonding.

Pair bonding is just a posh word for the pre-sex shenanigans. It doesn’t matter how high and fast the ladies push as they make space to rise, there are fundamental needs that must be met. It is for this reason that I believe the boy child does not need to be scared, the cat must come home to meow.

A popular social media influencer made a video advising ladies to desist from introducing themselves as mothers whenever they are on a table where business is discussed. This caution comes from comparing how men introduce themselves in boardrooms. They will talk about their abilities and qualifications and so women are urged to do the same.

The fact that a woman has found a slot at the table is evidence enough of her abilities and right of space. Trying to mirror men is a good case of Imposter Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome is the inability to believe that you deserve to be where you are or to get the privileges accorded to you. Women have made great strides but the surface is still foreign to them.

Men are not natural nurturers. This caring for children was thrust upon us with the coming of family units. Originally, families and clans were matrilineal and men sired children and provided.

As long as women want to play by the rules of men, they will never overcome imposter syndrome.