Choosing to be alone over the holidays

The holiday season is finally here and nothing screams of family like now. It is that time we come together for gatherings and shared celebrations. For many, it’s a period of warmth and joy. However, for others, it can be a time filled with tension, conflict and even emotional distress especially if you come from a family where they are not very nice. In such family dynamics, the pressure to conform to social expectations during the holidays can be overwhelming.

And that explains why certain individuals would rather spend the holidays alone away from harmful family members. This decision may seem difficult but can ultimately be one of self-care and emotional healing. Understanding why this choice can be beneficial for mental well-being is essential in navigating this sensitive issue.

Toxic family relationships can take many forms from manipulation, criticism and emotional abuse to more subtle forms of neglect or control. The holidays, with their heightened expectations, can often amplify these negative dynamics making it even harder for individuals to cope. For those who have experienced this type of behaviour, the idea of spending time with family during the holiday season can evoke anxiety, sadness or dread.

According to clinical psychologist and relationships expert, Dr Alexandra Solomon, setting boundaries even with family members is crucial for maintaining emotional well-being. She stresses the importance that protecting oneself from toxic behaviour isn’t a sign of rejection but an act of self-respect and self-preservation. For those dealing with family members who undermine their mental health, choosing solitude during the holidays can be a form of reclaiming control and emotional space. Don’t feel guilty when you opt out of being with them.

This can seem counterintuitive according to societal norms which often prioritize family togetherness during this time. But, for those experiencing emotional or psychological harm from family interactions, the decision to step back can offer a much-needed reprieve. Being in that toxic setting can lead to stress, heightened anxiety and even feelings of worthlessness. And just like that they can overshadow the joy that the holidays are supposed to bring.

Choosing to spend time alone provides the opportunity to disconnect from the harmful patterns that may have been perpetuated for years. It allows individuals to engage in the healing process without the added pressure of accommodating or tolerating toxic behaviour. Not an easy decision, if you’re recovering from the emotional toll of toxic family relationships this time alone can serve as a period of recharging by allowing you to focus on your own needs without the emotional drain of family obligations.