How to deal with failed resolutions

As the year draws to a close, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the resolutions we set the previous January. How time flies! These resolutions, whether related to fitness, personal growth, career achievements or relationships, often hold significant emotional importance.

Yet, for a large number of individuals, the reality of failing to meet these goals can lead to frustration, disappointment and even a sense of defeat. What was the point of setting those goals only to fail?

The looming arrival of a new year often brings with it the pressure to start fresh but for those who feel as though they have fallen short of their past resolutions, this can create a heavy emotional burden.

We can all relate somewhat. And, you’re probably about to start a new list afresh that’s if you haven’t given up already.

When New Year's resolutions are not met, someone may experience a range of emotional triggers. The initial sense of excitement and hope that accompanies the setting of resolutions often gives way to disappointment as the months pass and goals go unmet.

This can lead to negative self-talk, feelings of inadequacy or a lack of confidence. According to Dr Susan David, a psychologist and the author of Emotional Agility, people often struggle with ‘’rigid thinking’’ when it comes to their goals.

They view success as an all-or-nothing proposition, where a missed goal means complete failure. This mindset can contribute to stress and anxiety, as one may feel as though they are falling short of their potential or expectations.

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There is no ignoring the societal pressure to succeed particularly at the start of a new year can exacerbate these feelings.

When it comes to social media where do we even begin? It has a way of amplifying the idealized versions of success where everyone fakes their ability to achieve their goals effortlessly.

This can create a sense of comparison and pressure where you feel that you are not measuring up further fueling anxiety or depression.

For some, not being able to meet resolutions can even trigger a cycle of procrastination or avoidance because they believe that their past failures make future attempts futile.

Research shows that when people experience failure, they often internalize it by blaming themselves for not being good enough. This internalized negativity can lead to a range of issues from low self-esteem to a diminished sense of motivation.

Instead of seeing the unmet resolutions as opportunities for growth or learning, individuals might fixate on the idea that they simply aren’t capable of success.

This dangerous thinking needs to be unlearned by looking at setbacks as part of the process rather than a final verdict of your capabilities.

Another approach worth looking into is reframing the concept of failure. View setbacks as learning experiences rather than as something to be avoided at all costs. Reflecting on why a resolution was not achieved can also offer valuable insights.

Start by asking yourself these pertinent questions. Were the goals unrealistic? Were external circumstances beyond control? Did the approach need adjusting? Take a step back and reassess the situation. This will lead to healthier coping strategies and a more adaptive approach to goal-setting in the future.