When Mama fua cleans and offers 'other services'

Many of us may not understand why the next door bachelor is not keen to settle down despite the number of marriageable ladies in the neighbourhood.

The holy book maintains that a man needs a companion and it may not make sense to us when they prefer to spend their best years with no woman snoring beside them each night.

While the gender roles have become less defined, the chapatti cooking role has always been largely ours and we frown upon any man who appears not to need our culinary services.

Eons back when girlfriends still took their apprenticeship seriously, they would walk around town with rolling pins and cooking pans because they were coming from making chapos for babe to last him the entire week.

They felt rather indispensable because they doubled up as washing machines as well. This was until they realised that you can cook and wash for a man for years and then they end up marrying a woman who cannot even boil an egg.

Our mothers lied to us that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, evidence indicates that big nyash is winning every day.

The contemporary girlfriend learnt a lesson or two from our mistakes and will never be found anywhere near a man’s kitchen. They prefer pizza to chapatis and may not be interested in the technicalities of making either. They will however help you order a full meal through Glovo and uber eats and leave you with dirty plates when they are done.

Perhaps it is for this reason that the contemporary bachelor is not keen to bring home a woman. They have ingeniously found a way of having their cake and eating it at the same time.

The mama fua you see innocently hanging clothes on his balcony could be playing roles that involve no fabric, or very little of it.

You see rather than bring home a Gen-z girlfriend who will eat and leave you with dirty plates, mama fua cleans and offers other services as well.

They do not demand fare and when they do, it is a few hundreds to take a boda boda home. They will not demand food even when they participate in its preparation.

We may brush them aside as insignificant but many a man will confirm that mama fuas make the world a better place. They may not have acrylic nails or make up but they possess the basics that most men need. They will wash and cook and provide other services with no strings attached. Men who cannot find submission anywhere else seek it with mama fua.

They provide them with some semblance of marriage minus the snoring at night. They are also a phone call away in case the need of ‘washing clothes’ arises. Men who have found it difficult trusting anyone with their house keys will give mama fua a spare key for easy access.

The washing business runs well until the day mama fua comes to wash and finds the bachelor with a girlfriend. Many will not understand the sudden mood swing, except a fellow men who has used similar services before.