Polygamy is nothing but a pipe dream for broke men

Every man dreams of being polygamous. It is a custom they have been unable to let go of and one they would like to relive. If it was possible to go back to the days when men could marry a second wife to humble a rebellious first one, they would all go back there fast but as destiny would have it, they can only dream.

The economy keeps getting worse. The truth is that 90 per cent of the men who keep screaming about getting second wives will never earn enough to sustain the two families.

They will need help to sustain one and they will probably never end up with one, so when they talk about polygamy, they are just wishing they would find several submissive providers to sustain their selfish pursuits and that is not feasible at all.

Women are not that desperate for love even though the Bible promised that seven women would cling to the same man someday. It is an idea that is pleasing to the ear but life is not a Nigerian movie. In the real world, people make practical decisions that are beneficial to them. I digress

The problem with Kenyan men is that they conflate polygamous unions with the affairs they have with the 21-year-old university girls they impress with Sh2000 twice a month. In polygamous societies where marrying a married man isn't an issue, most women prefer wealthy married men to single poor men.

If we became a polygamous society, more than half of the men leading the discussion on polygamy would start weeping for monogamy. This is because a polygamous society would make them the leftover men no one wants to marry.

Polygamy gives more women other than one, the opportunity to benefit from one rich man. Monogamy on the other hand gives men even the poorest of all the opportunity to find a wife.

Men of older generations could afford several wives owing to the fact that they had land and they used to produce their own food. A majority of men in this generation live in houses that give them a direct and clear view of everything they own.

.

Keep Reading

• Link between climate change and child marriages is often overlooked
• Broken dreams, silent pain: I was tricked into an abusive marriage

How they expect to practice polygamy in rented bedsitters is a puzzle I cannot work out. It doesn't make sense. You can barely start a family in one. The climate too has changed over the years. We are experiencing drought and famine as opposed to the past when the lands were fertile and productive.

Most of the men obsessed with polygamy are not even farmers. They buy food from supermarkets and can barely afford to feed a regular Nairobi girlfriend who only shows up on the weekends. I know that because they complain on social media that girls eat six eggs at a go. I do not know how they are still delusional enough to imagine they could afford polygamy when six eggs are enough to make them rant on social media.

Moreover, these men live from one paycheck to another.

They work for bills on a salary that leaves them with no considerable savings. The rent in most towns alone takes up to half of their salaries and when you factor in black tax, you realise we are living among the poorest generation of men. The only thing a majority of them can afford to do at this point in life is "kept" men who camp in women's houses waiting for sex and free food. Talking about polygamy is stretching their luck too far.

If men found an earning woman who was willing to take them off the streets and take up half of the bills, most of them talking of polygamy on X (formerly Twitter) would turn into the submissive wives they wish for.