Will my autistic son ever speak or get married?

Dr. Ombeva,

Thank you so much your recent article on autism. I have a child with autism. It has been a big challenge raising him. But we love him so much and wish him the very best in life.

I have some questions you could help me answer: Is my autistic son mentally retarded? Will my child ever speak? Will he ever live an independent life? Is there a cure for autism? Can my autistic child go to a regular school? Will he get married?

Lydia

Dear Lydia,

Thank you so much for your very important questions. While half of autistic children have some degree of mental retardation, mental retardation has a more or less even impairment in skills in all areas of development.

In autism, the child may show age-appropriate skills in some areas while in some the skills may be below the developmental level. As regards ability to speak, up to a half of autistic children do not use speech.

Some children who might have spoken as infants and then lost their speech may not get their speech back.

If the environment is accepting and people are aware of the kind of speech they themselves need to use with the child, it can produce positive results.

 Speech therapy has very little help since the inability to speak is not a physical problem.

However, depending on the individual child and speech therapist’s understanding of autism, every autistic child can benefit from interventions that try to encourage the child to communicate.

Independent life skills attainment is tough, and depending on the child’s individual skill profile and the appropriateness and intensity of early intervention, the child can lead relatively independent life, and build up his skills.

Currently, there is no cure for autism. However, a structured training programme and combining good school and parent training helps.

This requires early accurate diagnosis and intervention before the child is five. School attendance depends on the child’s skill profile, the time of diagnosis and response to intervention.

Due to different learning styles of autistic children, they need different teaching styles. The child may require a special school, or a regular school which understands the child’s unique needs.

Whether your child gets married in future would depend on the level of functioning, if the partner understands the needs of the autistic spouse and financial status.

However, many able people with autism and their families choose not to marry.