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When it comes to dating, breaking up is not as black and white as it seems. Rejection and heartaches are often scars we tear open in the hunt for the elusive Mr or Miss right.
No one wakes up with the desire to heartlessly hurt their lover’s feelings, except psychos of course, but at times, one may inadvertently be cruel when attempting to kindly end a relationship.
So how do you practice empathy and compassion when rejecting someone who is interested in you but you have no affection or ready for?
1. Honesty
Being upfront about your feelings is the way to go.
Even if it stings, women - and people in general - appreciate honesty. You don’t have to go into a long monologue about why you’re not interested or why you’re not able to date her. Say what is in your heart. Be courteous too when expressing it.
2. Tell her in person
We all have desires to be wanted and loved by others. Rejection is painful.
There is no measure of cowardice than an individual hiding behind social media and other parties to express affection or lack thereof.
Be upfront, meet up somewhere that offers enough privacy for you two without and express yourself.
3. Keep the distance
If you’re really not interested, then why lead her on? Avoid giving or doing anything that can be misconstrued as signs of interest. Be clear, back off.
4. Be firm and absolute
Decide what you want and express how you feel from the word go. It is not fair to chase after a woman, waste her time then make a u-turn and say you are simply not available.
It is okay to second guess your decisions, but she will respect you more for being level, respecting her emotions and acknowledging what will and won't work.
5. Give her space
Sometimes people make the mistake of trying to overcompensate after rejecting someone because they feel bad. You may feel inclined to spend more time with the woman (particularly if she was already a friend or coworker) than before.
You may want to offer her more compliments or try to converse more frequently to make sure “you guys are still cool.”
Things may not be cool right then, and they may NOT be cool for a while. But it’s not your responsibility to clean up the pieces of her broken heart or take charge of her self-esteem.
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