"I wish I was more wild..." - Handling morning glory with your man and other ’feel-good’ tips

Morning glory tips

“In the morning, we still need to be aroused before the ‘glory.’ Just because you woke up with a hard on doesn’t mean your woman is also ready for a leg over. Don’t just jump on her like a randy goat,” says Kate, a sales and marketing officer.

She says that  women need compliments all the time. “Tell her she is cute, and that it feels great making love to her. Save us the guilt we always feel after allowing you to raid our cookie jar by at least talking after intimacy,” adds Kate.

Did I please him? Did he like it? Or I performed bellow par? Gosh, did I give it up too soon? What does he think about me? I wish I was more wild, seems he didn’t like it that much? Are some of the questions women apparently ask themselves when men keep quiet.

What women want to hear

Immediately after intimacy, is when one of Rose’s ex-lovers discovers she has a pimple, rush or bruise on her face. “What happened to your face? You need to get rid of these rashes,” he would say, before straying into  boring topics like drought that have nothing to do with romance at all. 

Heckled, taunted while at it

Women want men to always say something about their experience, it makes them feel great about themselves. Or so it seems. I mean, who doesn’t like their self-esteem boosted anyway? “It feels good when a man maintains good ‘hospitality’ after the act.

Serving a cold drink is always great. We are always thirsty after quenching your other ‘thirst,’ so don’t wait for us to ask,” says Beth.

But on this matter, men are not ‘devils’ and women are not  ‘angels’ as they are trying to make it look. Lucas, who sells movie DVDs, laments about a woman who always killed his morale in bed. He says the woman would at times taunt him while making love to her. Ladies, who does that?

Lucas reveals that the woman would ask belittling questions like, “So you are already tired and yet you have not even begun? Are you a man or a mouse?” Lucas says that he always did his best, but the woman’s sex appetite and mocking statements always killed his interest.

“Huh, some men! That’s it?” Lucas says she once asked after what he thought was a sterling performance. “There I was thinking I had given my best performance, only for her to blurt out, insinuating I had done zero work,” complains Lucas.

Blame it on hormones

Nathan Kazungu, a city-based therapist says all the blame should not be heaped on men. He argues that men are wired that way. He says, “Men’s hormones responsible for intimacy always go down immediately after sex. Immediately after, men want to be left alone in peace. Unfortunately, that’s when women become more aroused emotionally and want to be shown affection.”

He agrees that there are so many women who go through this and suffer in silence. “Few courageous women who ask their men about it never get responses because most men have no clue. Actually, the chemistry of a man’s body usually changes after orgasm. Their bodies release some biochemical prolactin which alters them, making them feel relieved and sleepy,” he explains.