Dear ladies, men too love receiving gifts

Dear ladies, I wanted to write you a letter, a narrative from the former African traditions and how disputes were ironed out between married people.

This process was as simple as the woman going back to her parents for a few days. She would then come back to her husband, but not empty handed, with a basket of gifts, key among them would be her husband’s favourite meal. This would then be prepared for the man who would share it with a few more elders and, just like that, the dispute was resolved. Ever wondered why marriages of the former days lasted admirably longer? There you are.

Today, I wish to demystify a certain fallacy when it comes to relationships, that it’s only women who should be pampered, that men have a natural instinct that makes them immune to gifts and surprises. Men, just like women, are creatures of emotion as opposed to logic. Men love gifts. And don’t worry about the nature of the gift you need to give your man. Do not bother yourself with endless searches on the Internet on ‘the best gifts for a man’. The formula is simple. Observe your man keenly. How does he dress? What brand of alcohol does he take? Which sport does he like and which team does he support? What type, and colour of shoes does he wear?

What of shirts, does he like long-sleeved or short-sleeved ones? If it’s long sleeved, does he like cufflinks? Does he wear ties, what is his casual wear? Does he like jeans or khaki, does he wear shorts. Younger men would prefer more extrinsically fashionable gifts like watches, belts, braces or jumpers. It’s important to keep it simple; send your man a gift pack on his birthday, buy him a leather jacket on your marriage anniversary, invite him out for a dinner date.

Alternatively, you could consider his obsession, if he loves reading, a trendy book would do; if he is a fitness enthusiast, a simple aerobics set or a workout guide would suffice; if he is a lover of movies, then you could recommend the latest Netflix thriller series. You cannot run out of options for a gift for your man.

Remember that a gift has a much deeper value than its face value, that’s why you need not go to the ends of the earth in order to find one. However small or simple a gift is, it will always remain the universal symbol of sacrifice. A gift is symbolic of the care you have for him, a reminder of your endearing love. A gift is that silent communication that ‘we are still in love despite the little upheavals we are facing in our relationship’. It is the quiet reminder that ‘both of us are not perfect but we will hold on because were meant for each other’.

But don’t make the gifting dramatic. You don’t need take him through the drill of ‘guess what’ or ‘close your eyes for a moment’ or such stuff. Most men could be a bit mechanical when it comes to the reaction to such manoeuvres. Make it as simple as ‘I have a gift for you’. It will still serve the purpose.

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