When your wife is furious about daughter learning your mother-tongue

The last time Carol asked why you never help little Farrah with her assignments, you felt guilty as hell. As a father, she told you, you have to be more involved in her life - than just buying her fast-food and silly toys.

It was a reasonable request and you have since taken up the task. You actually enjoy teaching her, because she is as bright as her mother and her cognitive abilities spell a good future for her. She picks up stuff pretty fast and is good with languages. Her English, Swahili and French are too good for a child of her age. And so you thought it would be appropriate if she learnt your mother-tongue. And you started teaching it to her. For the last three weeks, she has been learning fast and grasping the arcane intricacies of your mother-tongue.

You love her curiosity and love for adventure. Her mother wants the best for her and that is why from the get-go, she is paying top dollar for her to attend one of the best schools in the country. Indeed, Farrah sometimes sounds like that bright kid in a movie. Her mother likes that so much. Having a conversation with her in English is one thing visitors love so much. You are relieved she takes after her mother so much. There’s no trace of her cantankerous father anywhere.

Carol doesn’t know that you have been teaching her angel your mother-tongue. You have not thought of it as a big deal. To you, it is just an additional skill to help her communicate with her grandparents when you go home for Christmas. Grandparents and villagers love it so much if ‘born-tao’ kids can speak in mother-tongue, it shows all is not lost. And you don’t want Farrah to be like your silly cousins who think speaking in mother-tongue makes them backward, and are given to say, “I can’t understand that, it is too deep.” Deep, my foot!

So, if there is a noble thing to do, it is to teach the young girl mother tongue. And six is the best age to learn new languages. So, on Sunday as you go to church, Farrah is seated in the front and you start conversing in mother-tongue and she can form a sentence or two, or respond aptly, even though mono-syllabically. You can see through the mirror the look of horror on Carol’s face. She is visibly angry. You are not sure why she is so angry.

When you get to church, as Farrah disappears to play with other children, Carol is furious, “Kwani! What have you been teaching Farrah?”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t teach her your mother-tongue at this age. I haven’t even taught her mine!”

“This is the best age to learn languages. They learn them faster as kids,” you tell her.

“Why a language she will never use?”

“And with her grandparents?”

“That’s your side, what about my side?”

“You should also teach her.”

“How many languages will she learn?”

“The more the better. Ama?”

“Listen carefully! I don’t want my daughter to learn your mother-tongue. Don’t ever teach her.”

From the voice, you will gravely be endangering your life if you dare teach her daughter anything about your culture. She’s livid. You can only sympathise with her grandparents.

@nyanchwani

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