Ladies, learn to make the first move on a man, stop beating about the bush

Sometimes on the dating scene or in ‘come-we-stay’ situations there is a lot of pretense.

A woman will identify a fine looking man, but since she is too proud or shy to let out her feelings, she continues to steal glances and pass by the man without saying a thing.

Take for instance last Wednesday. As I waited for Frao to pay me after he lost yet another football bet, I began lazily scrolling through my mobile telephone contacts.

I stumbled upon this girl that I had not seen in ages. So without even thinking for a second, I dialled her number. After we were done with the obligatory pleasantries and the state of the nation analyses, she asked me why I had become such a miser that I could not even buy her coffee.

On hearing this, I informed her that in fact as we were chatting I was waiting for my cup of Cappuccino at a top spot.

pep chat

I dared her to come. It was a mistake. A big one. She happened to be two blocks away. In ten minutes she had arrived. The minute she arrived, I could tell that there was something she was eager to share. She knew my memsahib well, so I was tempted to assume that this was a safe conversation to have. Partly it was.

After the usual pep chat she suddenly asked me, “Tony, is your pal Patrick gay?” Goodness me. Where did that come from, I wondered.

 Sent signals

As she would later explain, she had done what she thought was enough to catch Patrick’s eye and since Pat, as handsome as he was had not responded positively, there was no way he could be straight. He just had to be queer.

“Are you sure he is ignoring you?” I asked her. “Were the hints strong enough?” I prodded further. “Tony, Pat is not an imbecile and neither is he frozen in the loins, he should be able to see it for himself,” she answered.

I tried to rake through my mind and pick on one day that she could have overtly sent signals to Pat. I too could not remember seeing those signals.

But I could not tell her that, for she would have put me one of two categories: Either an imbecile or one of those who prefer to eat hooves even when meat is plenty.

So this got me thinking. Who told women that if you give me your number and I do not call or start seducing you after two days, I must be gay?

It is becoming apparent many young urbane girls are as restless as their male counterparts.

But for some women they are not doing themselves any favours by not coming clean to claim what they like.

Pole position

Although there is a general and unbreakable rule that the man must be in charge on the dating scene, it does not mean that a woman cannot take control of her own destiny and position herself in pole position (no pun intended), so that everything else slides on effortlessly like a glove as she gets the man of her dreams.

I don’t understand why women, however interested they are, never make that move. And when they try, all they do is beat about the bush. Ladies, why always wait to be chased, yet the competition out there is cut throat? Is making the first move a crime?