Why women are choosing to remain child-free

At 30, Mia made a decision that many women spend years, if not decades, agonising over. She walked into a hospital, signed the consent forms, and underwent a procedure that would ensure she would never become a mother: no children, ever.

Mia had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in her mid-20s, a condition that made life feel like an unpredictable rollercoaster.

The highs were intoxicating, sleepless nights filled with boundless energy, grand ideas, and impulsive choices. But the lows? The lows were suffocating. Days spent paralyzed in bed, overwhelmed by sadness so deep it felt like drowning.

“I knew motherhood was sacred,” she says. “But I also knew myself. I knew I couldn’t guarantee stability for a child, and I didn’t want to bring a life into the world to struggle to be present for it. And I also knew that abortion is something I’d never bring myself to seek.”

And so, she chose tubal ligation.

Tubal ligation, commonly called “getting your tubes tied,” is a surgical procedure that permanently prevents pregnancy. The fallopian tubes are cut, sealed, or blocked, preventing eggs from travelling to the uterus.

Unlike temporary birth control methods, it requires no ongoing maintenance. The procedure is highly effective, with a failure rate of less than 0.1 per cent.

According to research by Mayo Clinic, tubal ligation does not affect hormone levels or menstrual cycles, making it a safe long-term contraceptive option. However, it is considered permanent, and while reversals exist, they are costly, complex, and not consistently successful.

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For Mia, the decision wasn’t just about birth control. It was about autonomy, about ensuring she never had a child she wasn’t emotionally or mentally equipped to care for.

“People kept telling me, ‘You’ll change your mind,’” she says. “But no one ever asked if I could raise a child. They just assumed I would ‘figure it out.’ I didn’t want to gamble with a life like that.”

Mia’s story is not unique. Women around the world are increasingly choosing to remain child-free. Some, like Mia, make this decision due to mental health concerns. Others opt for sterilisation due to career ambitions, financial concerns, personal freedom, or even the state of the world.

For some women, motherhood feels like a detour from the life they envision. The modern workforce is more demanding than ever, and many women find themselves torn between their professional aspirations and the expectations of motherhood.

“I love my career,” says Nelly, a 35-year-old corporate lawyer. “I worked my way up in a male-dominated industry, and I don’t want to step back for maternity leave or childcare. It’s just not for me.”

Studies show that women who delay or forgo motherhood entirely often earn higher wages and have greater career advancements. For some, the choice to remain child-free is a matter of maintaining professional momentum.

Also, raising a child can be expensive. For many women, the financial burden of motherhood is overwhelming.

“I can barely afford my rent and upkeep,” says Jane, a 30-year-old salesperson. “The idea of affording daycare, medical bills, and all the other expenses that come with parenting? It’s just not realistic for me.”

Women living in economies with high living costs often see sterilisation as a pragmatic choice. They don’t want to struggle to provide for a child, and they don’t believe in bringing one into a world where they may not have the financial means to offer a stable life.

Some women simply enjoy their independence and don’t see motherhood fitting into their lifestyles. They want to travel, pursue hobbies, or live spontaneously without the responsibility of raising children.

“I love being able to pack my bags and leave for a new country whenever I want,” says Sophie, a travel photographer. “A child would change everything, and that’s not something I’m willing to give up.”

For many, the desire to live life on their terms is a valid and deeply personal reason to avoid parenthood.

Like Mia, many women choose sterilisation because they fear they won’t be able to show up for their children emotionally. Whether it’s a history of mental illness, childhood trauma, or personal struggles, some women worry about passing on emotional wounds to the next generation.

“I grew up with a mother who was emotionally unavailable and abusive,” says Mary, a 33-year-old administrative assistant. “I don’t want to risk putting a child through what I went through.”

Psychologists warn that while self-awareness is valuable, permanent sterilisation should not be a rash decision. “Mental health conditions can be managed with proper treatment and support,” says Nassim Nkatha, a counselling psychologist. “However, if a woman feels strongly that she is not suited for motherhood, her choice should be respected.”

On the other hand, some modern women just don’t want marriage or the pressure that comes with co-parenting altogether.

Sterilisation is more than a medical choice; sociologically, it challenges the belief that womanhood is defined by motherhood.

As more women choose sterilisation for personal reasons, the debate grows. Is motherhood a duty, or should a woman have the freedom to define her path?

“If too many women choose this procedure, what will happen to our country in the long run?” Margaret asked, her tone laced with concern and a little resentment. At 36 and a mother of three, she believed that sterilisation had far-reaching consequences.

“We need to think beyond ourselves. If women stop having children, who will sustain the next generation? Motherhood isn’t just about individual choice; it’s a responsibility to society. Women are meant to nurture, to give life. This procedure is robbing us of that purpose, and honestly, I fear we are raising a generation that no longer values what it means to be a woman.”

Louis, a 29-year-old businessman, agrees. He leaned forward, frustration clear in his voice. “A woman choosing to get sterilised is like saying she no longer wants to fulfil her natural obligation,” he said.

“Motherhood is part of a woman’s identity, part of the cycle of life. If more women decide to take this path, what happens to family values? What happens to men who want children? It’s not just about women making decisions for themselves; it’s about the fabric of society. If we normalise this, we are looking at a future where families crumble, birth rates drop, and the natural balance between men and women is lost.”

The choice to undergo tubal ligation is deeply personal, yet society often sees it as a rejection of womanhood itself. For some, motherhood is sacred, a duty that sustains families and traditions. For others, it’s a path they cannot or do not wish to walk.

While critics fear declining birth rates and lost value, those who choose sterilisation seek freedom over their bodies and futures. In the end, the question isn’t just about biology; it’s about a woman’s right to define herself beyond the expectations placed upon her.

For many women, tubal ligation brings a sense of relief and empowerment. They no longer have to worry about unintended pregnancies, societal pressure, or the biological clock ticking away.

However, research suggests that sterilisation is not without emotional consequences. Studies published in Quality of Life Research indicate that some women experience post-sterilisation regret, particularly if they undergo the procedure before the age of 30.

Despite the warnings and societal expectations, Mia is confident in her decision. “I feel free,” she says. “For the first time in my life, I’m not afraid of an accidental pregnancy. I don’t have to make room for something I know I can’t handle.”

We all know that not every woman is meant to be a mother. Not every woman wants to be a mother. And sometimes, choosing not to bring a life into the world is the most responsible, loving decision a person can make!