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Hi Chris,
When I am dating, and I am trying to date seriously these days, I am always conscious that every man I am out with is doing his best to make sure he looks his best. Somehow they all only ever show me their good side and keep their bad side well covered up. So now that I am looking for a man who might be a keeper, how do I tell the sheep from the goats?
Sheep or Goat
Hi, Sheep or Goat!
It helps if he is good-looking and seems keen to please you, of course. But there are a few other things you should figure out about him before you get into dating seriously.
Like is he making his way in the world? Is he taking his life seriously? Because it might be fun being with an exciting party animal, but in the long run it is more important that he can always pay his way!
Then you need to check out whether his behaviour is 'normal'. Because dating people who are odd always ends up as a nightmare. Unfortunately, unusual personalities can seem very attractive to begin with, only to cause you endless distress later.
Like someone jealous or controlling. Or who always has to be the centre of attention. People with a borderline personality disorder often seem charming, to begin with, but later on, they can explode into a rage over something as simple as you being late. So you end up desperately trying not to upset them.
Or narcissists, who think they are better than everyone else. They can be great fun when you first meet, exciting, charismatic, a little bit 'dangerous' and forever making huge romantic gestures. But they try to dominate their partners, and they are unfaithful, cold and unavailable.
Get the idea? Avoid anyone strange, no matter how exciting he seems!
You will also be much happier with someone whose approach to life is similar to yours. So check out his interests and preferences. If you have nothing in common then you will not be happy together for long.
While if you share similar beliefs about politics, religion, possessions and money then you are likely to succeed.
And what about his attitude towards relationships? If your man always wants to be together, while you prefer a more independent style of relationship, for example, then there is trouble ahead.And then there is his smell. Because we all make a lot of deeply subconscious decisions about a potential mate. And we experience the results as a real liking for the smell of each other's skin and lips. Is that you? Great! That is your intuition telling you that you are really good for one another.
All the best,
Chris
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