Girl code: Have fun but remember there are limits

After the curfew hours were adjusted this week, people couldn’t hide their joy. It just shows how much we have persevered staying indoors. There’s something about night life that keeps people going, especially in cities and towns.

But I have never seen anything to write home about nightlife. Not that I have anything against it, it just isn’t my cup of tea and another reason I am so keen on the people I date. Initially, I tried keeping off men whose idea of fun was pegged on nightfall but, clearly, this has not gone well for me.

If anything, I have since changed my view of such men. I can now confidently state that I’d rather date those men than these other ones who present themselves as saints. Life taught me that still waters run deep.

Some years ago, when I was in my 20s, I was the kind of woman who would make a million calls to my man as soon as night fell to ask him if he was on his way home.

One time, my then fiancé had gone for an end-of-year party at work. We all know some of those parties can go till morning but by 10pm, I had already called him about 10 times, prompting him to switch off his phone, probably because I was spoiling a rather wonderful evening.

As soon as he switched off his phone, I shifted my attention to his colleague whose number I happened to have. He had probably alerted this colleague because my calls went unanswered. I remember sending several alarming messages to both his number and his colleague’s begging them to just communicate to me and assure me that all was well. All my texts were ignored.

He came back home at 3am to find me crying in the living room having called almost all his friends. Let’s just say the lecture I was given that night was enough to make me graduate with a doctorate in, ‘How to be a good wife’.

Needless to say we ended up parting ways a year later because, as he said, I was quite a nag. Looking back though, he was right. I moved on to the next relationship with the same energy and, before long, I was reporting my man to the police station as a missing person as soon as the clock struck midnight. That alone made him end the relationship after he was later traced in some night club dancing himself silly.

That’s when I swore never to date the type of men who find solace in nightlife. I shifted my preference and ended up dating a man who doesn’t drink beer or wine and doesn’t go dancing at night. He was the ‘perfect family man’ and I couldn’t wait to finally tie the knot with him and start a family.

Good thing though, the angels assigned to me were overworking and protected me from ‘tying’ myself to this man. This man here will go down in records as the man who not only broke my heart but ground the pieces into fine particles and threw the dust into the ocean.

I learned one lesson. Some of these men you see walking these streets who claim they don’t drink, go out or do anything outside their homes at night are walking time bombs! Some are good, they are actually living by what they say. Others are only using this line to blind us all. What they do during the day wherever is worse than drinking and dancing in those clubs at night.

For that reason, I support all you who have held onto their stress and tension eagerly waiting for the clubs to resume services. Go ye therefore and ease the pressure within you. Have your limits though because too much of it will finish you. I may have changed and I’m now ready to date such men but I will not sit back and watch him waste himself.

I said, go have fun but with limits. You have a bed back at home, don’t sleep in a bar. There’s food at home, don’t eat everything while out there. Above all, your wives are home. Don’t think you can replace them out there. Sip your drink, shake your leg, socialise but get back home on time. Don’t make some of us call the police on you.

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