Sex after marriage? No, not for us. We are open minded!!

Chances of marrying a virgin in Kenya are as low as the hopes of voting for an Ogiek as Kenya’s fifth President. And even as the church advocates for abstinence before marriage, it seems the calls are falling on deaf ears.

A 2015 study by I Choose Life - Africa, showed that 36 per cent of male and 10 percent of female students in Kenyan secondary schools were engaging in sex with the average age of sexual debut being 12.4 years.

It also revealed that boys engaged in sex with their age mates while girls have their first encounter with older boys.

Unfortunately, only 33 per cent of boys and 50 per cent of the girls reported using condoms in their first sexual encounter and one quarter of the respondents had sex with more than one partner in the last 12 months and 9.5 per cent of those who have not had sex said they intended to have it next year.

The survey was conducted in four schools in Nairobi, where almost half of the students said they had attended training in HIV/AIDS and 87.4 per cent of the students reported that they had talked to someone about HIV/AIDS in the previous year, mostly a peer educator.

Almost all the students said they knew the disease was transmitted through sex, although only 41 per cent could describe at least three or more of the symptoms of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).

Below are some of the reasons why God fearing Kenyans find it wise to ‘test drive’ on potential future bed mates.

1 The odd one out

In a world where almost every discussion revolves around sex it’s very tough for girls like Cindy Mulwa to wait until marriage. Cindy broke her virginity in college because she was tired of being the odd one out.

After high school, Cindy promised herself to abstain until her wedding night, and “My boyfriend was actually down for it but unfortunately I could not wait. Now my boyfriend has been cheating ever since he broke mine and his virginity. It’s like he can’t just get enough.”

2. The right tool

Before Rose Naisiae wedded her husband, she never imagined anything would make her cheat. He was handsome, was a hot shot lawyer, was from her tribe and treated her like a queen. “I have learnt the hard way that all glitters is not gold. My husband is so insecure and he has all the reasons to be because truth be told he cannot satisfy me.” Although she has sworn not to leave him, she can’t promise that she will be faithful.

3. Search for chemistry

Some people believe that the right sexual intimacy creates chemistry even after marriage.

Peter Wafula an electrical engineer totally concurs with this arguing; “I have to connect with her intimately to determine whether we are even going to continue let alone getting married.”

4. Keeping kaswende at bay

For some weird reasons, people believe having sex before marriage lowers chances of getting infected with any sexually transmitted diseases.

Janice Waithera defends this impression saying that “It’s easier to ask your partner to visit a VCT centre before marriage after which you are automatically expected to trust one another.”

5. We are open minded

In a world where the number of atheists is increasing like split dandruff you don’t expect everyone to follow what the Bible says.

Dan Fjord a Kenyan with Swedish roots does not subscribe to any rule related to the Bible.

“In that same Bible, where does it read that Adam and Eve had a wedding before giving birth to Cain and Joseph? Was Mary married to Joseph?” he posed.