Reasons why mums lose interest in sex after having a baby

Those first weeks and months after having a baby are a time of transition for everyone concerned, and new parents' sex lives can be impacted.

From book shops to support groups and, of course, the internet - there is a wealth of information about trying for a family, pregnancy and birth .

But when it comes to that six week postpartum period when parents make the most momentous transition yet, there seems to be less detailed information.

No matter how much parents-to-be plan and wonder throughout pregnancy, it's difficult to comprehend what life will actually be like once the baby has arrived.

Accounts of 'baby brain', extreme tiredness and the perpetual feed-poo-sleep cycle are universal knowledge. But what about the less readily-advertised effects ?

Whether it's you who has physically given birth or your partner, one area in which there will most likely be a shift is your sex life, or lack thereof.

It's important to understand why your partner has lost interest or can't - have sex, and below are four explanations as examined by BellyBelly .

1. She's had someone else rely on her all day

And by that we mostly mean "lie on".

As BellyBelly points out, with a reliant new baby who needs holding, feeding, burping and soothed, a mum's personal space may become "a huge factor".

Cuddling is a big part of bonding, but all that contact can take its toll on a mum's personal space

"They may feel like everyone wants a piece of their body when they have none for themselves. These women especially need more me time. Some mothers describe it as feeling used, invaded and even violated."

A lot of this may be hangover from a time when entire communities would raise children. And if you factor in how many new mums are alone for a lot of the day, it's understandable a mum many need time to also "thrive".

"Babies and young children love to be attached to their mothers, which is normal, healthy behaviour.

Yawn

Tiredness is also a key factor - being a new mother is physically and emotionally draining on so many levels" However, for mum, being clung to all day with no extra hands to take the load can result in sensory overload. They can feel claustrophobic and wanting to repel anyone in their space."

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2. Postnatal depression

Postnatal depression affects one in ten women.

And research has found up to one in 25 new fathers become depressed after having a baby.

The symptoms can be far-reaching and may include feelings of guilt, hopelessness, self-blame, apathy and loss of appetite.

The effects PND or postpartum depression can also impact a new mum's libido.

3. The physical impact of childbirth on her

This may seem like stating the obvious, but it's worth mentioning that some women's childbirth experience takes a substantial physical toll.

Eighty-five per cent of women who have a vaginal birth will experience some perineal trauma.

Many women's experience of childbirth has a huge physical impact

The most common reasons are from haemorrhoids and/or stitches for perineal repair of either a vaginal/perineal tear or repair of an episiotomy (a surgical incision of the perineum to allow delivery).

Healing times vary - as the deeper the tear or cut, the longer it may take to heal.

The physical may also become psychological for a new mum, as the longer she needs to heal and refrain from intercourse, the more worried she may become about eventually having sex.

4. Breastfeeding

The human body is a genius construct, but there are some caveats.

A mum's breasts begin to gear up for feeding their baby as soon as she's pregnant.

Immediately after birth, she produces colostrum, which is a concentrated, creamy-looking, high-protein, low-fat substance, which is all a baby needs in their first three days of life.

A woman's body is geared towards feeding her baby - and also preventing pregnancy from happening too soon after birth

What canny Mother Nature ALSO does is continue to produce a hormone which a) ensures milk production b) act as a contraceptive so pregnancy does not occur again too soon and c) dampens mum's libido.

It's perfectly normal, and in addition to this dip in sex-drive, she may also be experiencing vaginal dryness, which would make intercourse painful.