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Recently, a friend who lives in the Diaspora shocked me. This woman went to the US with her husband ten years ago and they have a six-year-old who was born there. Let’s call the baby girl Kui. Now Kui goes to pre-school in a big school that accommodates all communities and she has a friend called Emma. One day, Kui came home and blurted out something that shocked her mother. This is how the conversation went: “Mum, how come we don’t have two mummies like Emma does?”
My friend tells me she did not get where the child was going with her conversation at first. The child went on: “You see, Emma is always picked up by her two mummies and they come when they are holding hands,”
Before my pal could give an answer, the child sealed it off with another salvo.
“Emma says she has no daddy. Why can’t we also chase away our daddy because he hits you and we get another mummy instead? Emma says mummies are good, they don’t fight each other, they just kiss and hold in front of us.” That’s where you say chineke!
At that point, my friend tells me she headed straight to the kitchen to get herself a ‘hot drink’ (not coffee or tea).
I mean, what was she to tell her daughter? My friend lives in Minnesota, which has legalised same sex marriage and it appears that Emma’s mummies are two lesbians who are married. This distressed mama called me at 11pm to seek my good counsel on parenting woes. But for the first time, I was equally dumbfounded. How do you explain to a child gayism or same sex marriage?
The debate on same sex relationships has been trending in various circles in Kenya but I have not bothered to give my two cents on it. Why? I do not care what two consenting adults do in the confines of their bedroom, as long as they keep it to themselves. I am not pro or anti-gay people. I just mind my business. I mean we all have our weird tendencies. I just do not care what they do in the dark.
But the moment my child notices what they are doing is weird and odd and comes to me to seek answers, that is where my problem with gayism starts. I mean what will I tell Tasha when she starts asking prodding questions or making wild suggestions like Emma’s. When she starts thinking it’s cool to have two mummies to replace the violent daddy. What will I tell her?
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