I had an affair with my son's teacher

My son graduated from nursery to primary school last year. During his time in nursery, I got into relationship with his teacher. When my son graduated, the relationship sort of ended because I was mostly out of town. My greatest fear is that my wife might find out about this someday and this would be total chaos. Please advise...

 {Stephen}

YOUR TAKE

What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Never uncover what is safely tucked away. Let sleeping dogs lie; otherwise, they will bite you.

{Ouma Ragumo-Sifuyo}

Why did you engage in this relationship in the first place? There was the danger of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and infecting your innocent wife. Come to your senses; forget about this lady and move on with your life.

{Pastor Ben Shikuku, Bungoma}

 A mistake is a mistake if repeated, so just thank God it did not continue and pray also not to repeat it in future.

{Ouma Bernar}

The best thing is to tell your wife the truth and seek her forgiveness. The truth will set you free.

{Mwangi Reuben}

Your fear will sell you out and very soon, your wife will find out everything, and it will be chaos. Tell her before she finds out and don’t repeat it. 

{Munyao Matata}

You are a bad example to your son. What do you think he will think of you when he finds out? Confess to your wife or church minister and ask for forgiveness. Imagine if your wife did the same with a your son’s male teacher.

{Onyango Outha Jauduny}

It is unfortunate you engaged in adultery not just with anyone, but with your son’s teacher. You are also telling us that the relationship ended because you are mostly out of town, which means you are still attached to her. I advise you to forget about the relationship and honour your wife by being faithful to her. Do not let your past ruin your family.

{Hudson K Okari, Narok}

COUNSELLOR’S TAKE

Thomas, you have two delicate situations here.  One, you have an unresolved relationship issue with that woman and two; your child is now under her care. This is a very sensitive part of your child’s growth and development a teacher usually has a lot of influence on the child (sometimes more than the parents). The most important thing is to ensure that your child gets a good foundation and this will only come from her if you do not want to change schools. With this in mind, you may need to restore harmony to that beehive you kicked over. This matter can be discussed with the aim of clearing the air but in a candid talk. Clear the air about those allegations she is making and do not give false promises. The child’s interest should come first, but it would be good to also understand the teacher’s perception about the issue and see how all interests can be harmonised towards creating a win-win for all.

{Simon}