Very crazy things happen in the southern parts of Africa. In fact, there is a triangle of madness that covers Zambia, Zimbabwe or Malawi. Anything goes.
Take this Malawian man who reportedly allowed a hyena to chomp off his member on a witchdoctor’s advice. Reason? That would make him rich. The idiot!
He probably had his reasons, but the few men I have spoken to in our newsroom are of the firm opinion that given a chance between a bullet in the head and having their ‘promulgating instrument’ chopped off, they would yank the gun from the carjacker and personally blast their own brains out.
I mean, of what use is wealth when you can’t go forth and multiply? I know women claim men think with their sex organs, but now see what happens when a man starts thinking with his brain. This macabre saga is, however, an illustration of the depths of idiocy men — and increasingly women — go through to get rich. A man spends 30 years getting insulted by his boss, hating his job and dreaming of retirement.
But the day he retires and his employer palms a few notes into his hand in the name of a golden handshake, the fellow takes all the money and wastes it on some scam involving fake gold, mercury or whatever.
What we forget is that there is nothing as annoying as dying rich. Can you imagine the sheer nuisance of being promoted to glory and leaving your fat estate behind? The choice foods, expensive wines, the huge chunks of land, the apartments, the thick, nicely scented wads of notes in your bank account in Zurich?
If you leaf through this newspaper, you will find a story about some rich kids fighting over their dead father’s estate — an estate the poor man worked his butt off to build.
I don’t know, but some family fights over property make one wish the old man had allowed a hyena to burp on his member.
Photo credit: jukani.co.za