This world, sorry, how do I even talk about the world yet I have only lived in Kenya? Let me rephrase, this country is not just rotten but it's stinking. Pooh! This generation is not just lost but it's a walking dead generation.
Before you start wondering how a bomb looks like, take a look in the mirror, yes, what you see is not just a bomb but one that has been set ready to explode. Why are people dragging us to the times of Sodom and Gomorrah?
You people should realise I still have a lot of unfinished business in this planet. For crying out loud I haven't even seen my baby Sori's first crawl, leave alone steps. I am not ready to die by fire and brimstone.
The confidence that this generation portrays when talking about the advantages of having a sponsor is enough to raise the dead from their graves. In fact, I have been wondering why my parents have not risen from the dead yet.
Maybe its because of the thick layer of cement we used to cement their graves. When I say sponsor, of course you know what I mean so don't give me that satanic look.
My neighbour Tony who lives downstairs is already giving me enough diabolic look every time I request him to buy a new bed. The one he has at the moment is not just a bed but a media tool as well.
The kind of information it passes to our whole neighbourhood! If only he lived in Denmark where the population is dwindling, maybe, just maybe, he would win an award.
Before you sigh in relief thinking I have forgotten about our rotten generation and started on Tony, pull a stool and sit your tired behind because by the time I am through,
I expect you to wake up from the deep slumber you could be in. As if sponsors are not enough, our beautiful women have come up with another one, Ben 10 (or as our fellow Kenyans spell it on social media, Benten).
Hold your horses if you think I am talking about that cartoon your young ones watch sitting at the edge of the sofa as they ignore any instructions to do with taking a bath or homework.
No, Benten is the younger version of a sponsor, only this one is specialised in bedminton while the other can sponsor badminton. In most cases, the sponsor hardly knows how to play bedminton while Benten hardly knows the cost of playing badminton. Again, don't give me that satanic look as you ask how I know all this. Am I not part of this generation?
I am still swinging 360 degrees on my chair trying to look at this world from all angles. The only problem is that my mind is too occupied to even notice that this chair is not even swinging in the first place.
What exactly are we trying to teach the younger generation that we so much pretend to care about? Do you think they lack all the five senses and will not get wind of what we are doing? Trust me, they do not only know but they are yearning to be like us. Yes, us who have made it clear to them that it is OK to get married to a hyena to raise a family, have a Benten to quench your bedminton and have a sponsor to pay for your badminton all at the same time.
Now see where our country is headed to. We all know Benten, sponsor and hyena do not see each other eye to eye.
They have resorted to squeezing life out of each other, us not being an exemption. Then what do we do? We laugh about it and create all the memes yet lives are not just being destroyed but cut short as well. At what point are we going to realise that there is a generation looking up to us for guidance?
At what point are we going to open our eyes? After we have turned this country into the latest version of Sodom and Gomorrah?
If you do not have any positive dreams about your life, some of us do. I want to see my baby take her first steps, I want to see her take her first trip to school, I also want to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day and hand her over to a responsible man, not a sponsor or a Benten.
All you sponsors and Bentens together with misguided hyenas, may your curtains fall!