Motherhood vs feminism: The battle few want to talk about

I remember at the height of the 2013 Supreme Court hearing of Raila Odinga’s election petition against the election of Uhuru Kenyatta as president, word leaked that Justice Njoki Ndung’u was pregnant. The remarks from men were hilarious, that even a lioness must get pregnant at some point.

It reminded me of the Wangu wa Makeri legend among the Kikuyu, when they were led by a high-handed woman. Men decided to hold a meeting and agreed that the best way to beat the toxic matriarchy they were suffering from was to impregnate all the women. It seems women have internalized this story, hence their anxiety and trepidation with motherhood.

This story came to my mind when a lady posted on social media how organizers of a women’s empowerment forum were upset with her for going to the meeting with her toddler. Too much for International Women’s Day publicity. Is the empowered woman averse to childbearing? Does this mean that if she gets pregnant, nurturing should be done behind closed doors?

Feminism rose from Marxism, perhaps because women found themselves as workers without voting rights well into the twentieth century. The women’s rights movement began in the 1850s as a movement to establish equality between men and women. In 1920, the USA passed a law that allowed women to vote. Modern-day radical feminism rose from the mid-1960s, with its focus being the elimination of patriarchy.

The obsession with patriarchy has blinded women into forgetting that they are still women, even if they are fighting against discrimination and for equality. This is the reason why a woman organizing a women-only event can tell a lactating mother that babies are not allowed in the meeting.

This radical feminism is counterproductive. It is the root of misplaced anger against patriarchy that still sits unbothered. This is a big bother to the “feminazi,” who see everything as a battle of the sexes. They forget that even in war, soldiers take a break to play poker, sing and dance, look for sex, and grab a beer. They must find time to be human beings amid war. I think the radical feminists don’t understand how they can still be women, sisters, and mothers and fight for equality.

The disadvantaged lot in this fight is the child. First, there is the rise in calls for “I hate babies.” If Marxism was a threat to the owners of the means of production, feminism is a threat to the survival of the human species, not only mankind. Babies are not well breastfed because targets must be met and patriarchy must be rolled back. Children are not supposed to be seen with their mothers in public because it is a show of the subjugation they are trying to defeat.

It was better when they hated men; men found ways of going around it. They would delay or avoid marriage altogether, play mind games, and hold back cash for transactional ladies. Children cannot fight back; they bear the scars of this nurturing in doses. The net effect is lowering the quality of human beings who enter adulthood. Then we cry that adulthood is a scam.

Keep Reading

Women’s empowerment was meant to add value to humankind (including women). As things go, it seems the African woman’s interpretation of feminism is harmful to the future of African communities. If the community fails, it is women who are always the first ones to bear the brunt. It is wise for them to remember that empowerment was meant for good, not to harm the people it is meant to build.

The poster child of modern African feminism is none other than Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. She had not written a work of fiction for about a decade. In that decade, she gave us works like We Should All Be Feminists. She recently published her novel Dream Count, coming a few months after she delivered twins. Do you see why motherhood is important? When the baby comes, she comes with a good plate.

Why did Chimamanda keep the birth of her twin boys in her late forties a secret? Is it a case of feminist anxiety or shame?

Women must separate their God- and nature-given role of propagating the human species. Gender wars can wait; 1850 was about two centuries ago. The battles must be won without losing the war.