Six ways to changing your narcissistic personality

You encounter them every day. People who trample on others, have zero empathy towards others and think they deserve it all. With a small trigger, they blow out of proportion. Rage, physical and emotional abuse are things they claim to be unable to control. But are you one of these people? Do you exhibit such tendencies? If yes, the good news is that you can recreate a better lifestyle that is more accommodative towards others. With these simple guides, you can have a transformation on your narcissistic personality.

Know the triggers

Having a narcissistic personality disorder is greatly ingrained from childhood. It is a practice learned over time, to create a new normal where you trample on others. If you grew you in a home that encouraged competition and sidelined children, the triggers to your reaction are built up high.

Understand what makes you topple over from your balanced emotions. Is it being in a room where others are of a higher class than you that’s making you feel belittled and revert? Could it be genuine criticism from someone? Evaluate all these. Write them down and constantly read them. This will help you be aware of what propels your behavior and catch your responses pants down.

Pause and think of the consequences

Your behavior exhibits a low level of empathy towards others. It looks down upon other people to make you feel better. Evaluate yourself. Even if screaming or being physical is a reaction for you as you release your frustration, how do you think it makes the other person feel?

Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes will suddenly make you realize how much hurt you cause others. It will encourage you to be more caring of others instead of only thinking about yourself and guarding your ‘selfish’ feelings.

Come up with new empathetic responses

Learn how to care for other people, their space and opinions. Practicing genuine concern for other peoples’ lives is a step forward to change. You can train yourself to listen as much as you speak, giving the other person an opportunity of self-expression. All this should be done without you wearing your defense on your sleeves ready to pounce.

Be interested in others. A practical example is asking the other person how they are doing and feeling before sharing your escapades.

Take responsibility for your actions

Narcissists have a way of doing wrong and shoving blame to other people by evading any form of responsibility.

Denying responsibility makes you someone who is unreliable and propels people to isolate you. You are ultimately unable to live with others harmoniously.

To change, be aware of your actions and take control of your choices. Be ready to go through with the consequences your behavior brings about.

Celebrate small wins and practice gratitude

You can change your behavior step by step. Do not rush yourself in unlearning your narcissistic responses. If you achieve small goals of being caring towards others, congratulate yourself. Remember to be grateful for the people and things around you. This tends to shift your mind from self to those around you. Narcissistic people do not give a lot and are always willing to take. Practicing gratitude is a sure way of focusing your energy outward.

Seek professional help

Walking to a therapist session is not for the lost and hopeless people. It is actually a sign of great courage. It shows that you want to and are willing to communicate and change. Find a certified professional in your area and begin the journey of unearthing your past, straight from your childhood.

Avoid getting it to your head that narcissistic people cannot change. It is possible to have a complete life turn around and develop into a more empathetic person. All it takes is patience, consistency and willingness to be better.

This month Eve is celebrating February as the month of Self-love. Join us in this journey by reading the self-love articles, talking to us on social media using the #LovingYourself hashtag.