Angeline Yiamiton: It is not the wedding that is important but the marriage

Divorce, however amicable, is emotionally draining, Angeline says.

Many times she is approached to offer an opinion or give advice.

“Some come to me saying they want to leave their marriages. I tell them that is not the point: I tell them to try work it out.

“I do not wish for marriages to break because it can be a traumatic process. And for children, it is even more difficult.

“For many years I walked around feeling homeless: because, remember a home is not a house: it is the environment you create inside the house,” she says.

Angeline has never once blamed her ex-husband for the divorce. To do so would be childish, she says.

“It takes two people to make the marriage work,” she says.

Over the years, she has grown wiser. Looking back she says they did not have the maturity to handle differences between a couple.

“People get married young and they should get guidance not long after,” she says.

She still recalls the day she said ‘I do’. The flamboyance and the opulence of a military wedding is what she had hoped for and she got it.

“I had a beautiful wedding. It is the reason I tell young people that it is not the wedding that is important but the marriage,” she says.

Having children was not enough to rescue Angeline’s marriage. As she pursued her career and her husband pursued his they found themselves drifting apart.

“It died a natural death: the same way a plant dies if it is not watered and taken care of,” she says.

However, she says, this is not to say that all marriages need salvaging. “Don’t stay in an abusive marriage,” she says.

According to Angeline, it is important that women learn their self-worth before.

“If you do not know your value in life you may contemplate staying in an abusive marriage,” she says – her psychology hat on.

And when divorce is the only solution it would be important to stay above the fray.