God bless the girls of St George's

This is teachers' strike week, the first week of September, when pupils were to be back in public primary schools, and students back in high school for the last lap of the year. If our leaders were really committed to the welfare of wanafunzi, MPs would take 50 per cent pay cuts, MCAs would self-scrape themselves (they are there to take trips to take in cultures they are too crude to appreciate) and the digital lap project would be aborted to pay our teachers.

The downside is parents are stuck with students who should be in third term – including the five alleged lesbians of St George’s. They sued the school in order to be re-admitted. And well they should.

Because lipstick lesbianism in high school is a non-issue. Statistics show that 40 per cent of girls in high school ‘experiment’ with each other (if you are a boy, and ‘experiment,’ unless it is in chemistry labs, you are gay – and by that I don’t mean happy).

High school is the time for young women to discover things like music, tampons but hopefully not each other – but it happens. Nothing serious there! Serious is moving from Kamayole to Kama (a town in Russia, next to the lake known as Naberezhnyye Chelny, then finding Wanga has forward travelled there, next door, to Tatarstan).

Music that makes me think what young ladies ought to be like, Aerosmith singing, “my favourite thing that drives me wild, is when a city girl walks a country mile, for a boy she loves God bless the child that makes me smile in July.”

July is not a good time for girls in high schools, some of whom can only think of strikes (these days, teachers part-time jobs are not giving the outlawed holiday tuitions but going on strikes. And can they please get another song other than ‘Solidarity forever’? That one got old round about 2000 A.D.).

‘Sossion is fine, but I’m afraid we could not save Solidarity Forever,’ says the doctor, to the muppets of KUPPET sitting in the waiting room, reading old Eve Woman magazines. In August, many youth go to malls and a lucky few to cinema halls

But September should be the time for high school literature. I think of Mukumu Girls’ high school where we set up a PEN club with radio man Khainga Okembwa and Prof Chris Wanjala a few months ago under the presidency of brilliant Brenda Cherusta and their patron, teacher Dixon. October, the octopus of exams comes, gossip of ghosts begins in some schools, especially in Coast, and there is teenage girl mass hysteria and the fainting spells. All in an effort to dodge examinations.

December, of course, parents must be careful lest the lasses go ‘randa randaing’ with unsuitable boys! Ironically, St.George’s is also a lesbian site in Utah.

I logged in to find a woman called ‘Kitty’ (that is so wrong) who is 22 and looking for a woman to treat as a princess, who she can ‘love and make the centre of (her)universe.’ Says Kitty: ‘I am NOT clingy or obsessive, I am NOT that crazy brand of girlfriend who goes NUTS at the slightest thing.’

In the same way people who keep saying ‘trust me’ should never be trusted, Kitty is of course telling us that she is crazy and clingy, obsessive and one hell of a jealous lesbian lover. Finally, when I was younger, I used to think lesbians were citizens of a country called Lesbia, that neighboured the Lebanese in Lebanon. And that Anon was the world’s most prolific and most quotable writer.

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