"As a woman, you should never expose your real self to the world," she says. "Once people know you, they will use it to attack you on a personal level."
These are the words Mbita MP Millie Odhiambo spoke during an interview with this writer at Parliament buildings recently.
She was elegantly dressed, her trademark big hair freshly done, nails well-manicured and a smile to boot. As she hugged me like an old friend, it dawned on me that this was definitely not the Millie we were used to on national television and social media. She was a far cry of the venom-spitting parliamentarian we know.
It also impressed me that she took time to return my calls whilst in the middle of her campaigns in the village. That is why I had been tempted to ask her if she had a multi-personality disorder.
There's never a dull day in Millie Odhiambo's life, which seems to attract drama like a moth to a flame. Barely three weeks ago, she skipped the President's last State of the Nation address. When put to task, the Mbita MP said she had better things to do like going to the salon to do her hair.
Wait a minute... Do what hair? Kenyans demanded, as they took to social media poking fun at Millie's receding hairline with some alleging that she was a cancer survivor and her hair loss was as a result of chemotherapy.
It's no secret that Millie's hair - or the lack of it - has captured the attention of Kenyans with most people wondering who her stylist is.
Incidentally, she is proud of her big, outrageous hairstyles and does not understand what the fuss is all about. She prefers keeping the same stylist and usually directs her on how to make her hair.
"I have my hair done at Tamasha in Kilimani," she says. "My former stylist, Sheila, taught me how to be expressive about my hair," she discloses.
However, she confesses that the big styles tug at her hairline resulting in hair loss. "I also had a salon incident where they over-processed my hair leading to extensive hair loss and damage to my scalp," she reveals.
Contrary to what had been claimed on social media, her hair loss is not as a result of chemotherapy "I have never had cancer," she clarifies. "During the Katiba making process, those of us involved underwent tremendous stress," she says. "I even collapsed right after coming back from Naivasha and had to be admitted in hospital." This, she says, was the beginning of her hair loss and her doctors zeroed down the loss to stress. "My hair fell off, which forced me to wear wigs for a while," she reveals.
There has been improvement and the hair is slowly growing back. So why would she braid or weave sections of her head and leave some?
"When I want the hair on the sides of my head to grow, I will sport a mohawk, which obviously doesn't go down well with everyone," she says. "I will weave my hair and leave the part I want hair to grow open," she explains of her unique hairstyles. Unfortunately, most people cannot understand her style."That's Millie for you. And I'm comfortable," she says.
And yes, her big hairstyle is a fashion statement. "I'm expressive. My love for big hair, bold colours and big earrings show confidence and a healthy ego that does not need approval," says Millie. "In fact, my most stressful days was when I was practising law because I had to wear dull, boring colours," she admits as we burst into laughter.
Millie is a straight-shooting, tell-it-like-it-is, kind of person who does not sugarcoat or mince her words.
Hmmm... What about her supposed 'beef' with The President, I prod. "That's just politics. I am very passionate in everything I do and will tell anyone I feel is unjust off. The President just happens to cross my line of convictions. Nothing personal," she says matter-of-factly.
Millie narrates how she once grabbed a gun from a police officer before Paul Muite took it from her during a demonstration. "I am passionate about everything I do," she says. During her campus days, she chased after a guy who had snatched her phone, gave him two jabs and got back her phone.
Known also for bold statements in public like, "I love sex", or most recently telling Joho that she would have sex with him if her husband allowed, Millie says it is unfair that the male folk want to define a woman by her sexuality.
"We must demystify sex. Let Millie be all about sex and the woman after me be about leadership," she says. "Someone has to pay the price. Besides, who do women have this sex with?" she poses. "You can't define me by my vagina. Let's move on to the real issues like drought or the budget," she says, visibly agitated.
Family is close to Millie's heart and she fondly speaks of her husband, Mabona. "We have been married for about 11 years, though we have lived separately for nine years," she says. Her husband is Zimbabwean so long-distance wasn't a choice but the only option. Millie would have wanted to be a mum but this arrangement forced her to put off such plans.
"I got married in my late 30s, and getting babies becomes challenging as we age," she confesses. "The distance between my hubby and me wasn't helping either, in this baby-making business," she explains further. "I also had fibroids, which the doctor suggested removal before attempting IVF," confesses Millie.
Millie plans to give IVF a chance after elections but she hasn't decided whether she will carry the pregnancy or not.
She however is quick to clarify that if a baby comes, she will be happy to embrace motherhood but if not, she will still be content with it. Having stayed with most of her nieces and nephews, Millie does not feel the void of not having a child. Besides, she has a good relationship with Lebo, her stepdaughter and husband's child from a previous relationship.
"Most of my nieces and nephews regard me as their mum and my hubby is also good at raising children," she says. Her husband, a hotelier by profession is a businessman and a church elder. "He's very churchy but a gentle disciplinarian," she says.
Her elder sister too, she says, doesn't have kids and this has never bothered them.
"I am a confident woman and the only approval I need is God's. Beyond that, I set my own standards," she says. "Having children does not define who I am. I'm whole even without children," says Millie.
At 50, she, looks fabulous for her age. She, however, says she does not follow any beauty regimen religiously. She will occasionally scrub and powder her face though, but cannot stand chipped nails.
Millie, however, will not be found in the kitchen cooking for her hubby in the name of maintaining a good wife picture.
"Cooking cannot make me who I am. I'm an intelligent and powerful woman and no amount of mboga or sufurias will add to that," she says. Millie says she is too busy and has no time to cook. She, however, is a good cook and has trained her househelp.
"When I'm in Zimbabwe with my hubby, I will cook because I have the time," she says. "However, I hate cooking because people associate it with being a good wife and I hate stereotypes," says Millie. I'm too busy to cook and will not kill myself to please a man," she says.
Millie's day always starts with prayer. "When I'm a good girl, I usually follow this with exercise," she continues. "God gave me a good figure, which I maintain with dance, which my nieces and nephews teach me and exercise," she says with a twinkle in her eye.
However, she feels her stomach is too big and wishes she had a flat tummy. "My pot is the part of my body that I'm most conscious about," she confesses.
Millie has also recently ventured into business. She opened a boutique, House of Maris, in honour of her late mum though a cousin runs it as she is too busy. She also runs Millie Institute, which deals in mentorship training for young girls and female leaders both locally and without the borders.
The ardent Man United supporter says she avoids watching the matches at home since her hubby is an Arsenal fan.
Millie's advice to young women is to have self-confidence. She says girls bleach themselves or enhance their boobs and butts because they are not confident in themselves and don't accept who they are.
"When I started practising law, I did not have a car unlike what society expected of me. I chose to educate my younger siblings instead," she says. "I didn't succumb to societal pressure. Today I can drive any car I want," she says.
"Don't allow society to define you," says Millie.
From a shy village girl to a tough cookie
Growing up, Millie Odhiambo was a shy, village girl. Her widowed mother had the Herculean task of bringing up eight children. Her mum was a conservative but liberated woman . "You do not have to be in an unhappy marriage, she would tell them."The one thing I wished I had in my childhood was a pony," says Millie. The books she read as a child influenced this, she says.
Being shy, however, did not stop her from standing up for what she felt was right. Most of Millie's high school days were punctuated with run-ins with the school administration.
She was in St Francis Girls, Rang'ala for her O Levels, where she was the top student with a First Division before joining Limuru Girls for her A levels. Being a poor girl in a rich girl's school hardened her. "Everyone in school wore a tie and a brown sweater while I had no tie and had to wear this funny maroon sweater my aunt made for me," she says. Her woes at Limuru Girls started when the Headmistress was briefing the girls on an upcoming trip to Israel. Millie knew it was a tall order for her mother and she did not hesitate to point it out. "Some of us can't even afford a trip to Chogoria. Why are we here discussing Israel?" she challenged the Headmistress. Millie was a bright student though she was always in trouble with the administration. She was appointed prefect and later Deputy House Captain but always got demoted either because she refused to do Pure Sciences and opted for social sciences or had asked the Headmistress why she looked down on them, poor girls.
Today, she has no regrets for all the drama she might have caused in school, as she believed it was for a worthy cause. Thanks to her personality, she has managed to go beyond her wildest dreams. She attributes this to her three dominant personalities; Sanguine, Choleric and Melancholic. She has managed to balance out her extroverted and introverted sides and will present what she feels works depending on place and time.
What Millie loves...
1. She loves dancing but in close set-ups, with family and friends.
2. "I get lost in my writing," she confesses. She is currently working on a book, "Political Leadership packaged for aspiring Women Leaders", a book she intends to publish after elections since it discloses some secrets she learned in the last General Election, which she prefers to safeguard for now.
3. "I love crime and investigation movies," she says. She also enjoys watching TV.
4. When bored, she also enjoys catching up on her social media platforms.
5. "I love kittens and puppies, but not when they are all grown up," says Millie.
6. Acting. "I acted through high school and university and later," she says.
7. "I love kids," confesses Millie despite not having one of her own.
8. She loves order and would rather clean up the house than cook.
9. I love poetry too and write poems.