One of the things that many adults struggle with is their self esteem. Many of us are searching for that reassurance that we’re competent and loved. This got me thinking, could it be that we lacked this reassurance when we were younger? Could there be something that we can do for our children that will help them grow up to be confident, self-assured adults?
According to Parents, children with a high self esteem grow into productive, happy people.
So how can we as parents boost our children’s self esteem? Here are some tips.
1. Praise them
Praise your child when they accomplish things no matter how simple. Pay them sincere compliments and be as specific as possible. For instance, when your daughter shows you her colouring, instead of saying a blanket ‘Wow, you’re the best’, praise their use of colour or how they’ve managed to colour between the lines. Celebrate your child’s accomplishments, big and small.
2. Give them responsibilities
Now that we’re spending more time indoors, take advantage of the time to teach your child how to do certain tasks. Assign them household chores like picking up their toys after playing to doing dishes, making their beds or tidying their bedroom. This will help them feel more competent, like they’re grown, and allow them to hone their problem-solving skills. Let’s not forget that learning how to do simple household chores is an important life skill.
3. Allow them to do things for themselves
It can be so tempting to want to bathe and dress your little one, feed them, et cetera. But what you don’t realise is that when your child sees that she can dress or feed herself her confidence grows. So, even if you feel that you could do the job faster or her outfit isn’t as put together as you would like, let your daughter do it. You could use the opportunity to help her learn what clothes pair well together.
4. Avoid comparing them to other children
There’s nothing as hurtful as hearing, “Why can’t you be like your sister?” We are all unique individuals, with our own personalities, strengths and weaknesses. Instead of comparing your child to others, focus on their positive attributes and where possible, help them overcome their weaknesses.
5. Spend time with them
A key part of high self esteem is feeling loved. And what better place to find honest, self-less love than at home. When you spend time with your kids, you show them that they matter to you and you’re better able to show them how much you love them. Therefore, make time in your day where you and your child have some one-on-one time.
6. Allow them to make choices
We’re faced with choices at every stage of our lives. When we were younger, our parents made decisions for us and as we grew up, we started taking charge of our lives. But to make it easier for your child to make this transition, start them off at a young age. Allow them to decide simple things like what they can have for breakfast, what they want to wear or their hairstyle they would like. This will allow them to own their choices, making them feel empowered. For a bit of order, present your child with two or three choices from which they can choose. For instance, tell them that they can put braids this time instead of cornrows, so what colour braids would they like?
7. Tell them no-one is perfect
One of the things that worries me most is when my daughter expects perfection. She worries so much when she makes a mistake, for instance, in her school work. I keep reminding her that nobody expects her to be perfect, that she is allowed to make mistakes. To further help your child avoid seeking perfection, praise them, as we have seen above, and instead of blowing up over their mistakes, calmly explain why what they have done is wrong and let them know what they could have done better.
What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory??